Highs & Lows

My mind is a tug of war, back and forth on what I should do
Theres thoughts that I wanna pour, but I have no one to pour em to
I reach out to get ignored, I feel depressed and I blame you
All this pain that I endured, left me broken and split in two
Swear I only have two modes – all-time highs and all-time lows
I cant get of grip of myself, so I just sit and I yell
And Im trying not to lose hope
I lost everyone I had close, no wonder why I feel alone
Sometimes I wanna grab ropes, stick my neck in a noose, dangle and let my ass choke
Im sick of love being the reason Im hurt
Im sick of love being the reason Im hurt
Im sick of giving my heart, Im sick of playing my part
Just for you to let me down when I put you first
**** you, I mean literally **** you
Girl, I dont even need you
Im on the rise and I wouldnt wanna be you
If I got one wish, Id wish I didnt see you
My depressions depressing, its taking control of me
Im losin myself and I cant get a hold of me
I see my reflection and dont even know its me
I feel alone and they dont even notice me
But how can I blame them when Im out of line?
One minute Im sad and the next I am fine
Theres so much inconsistency in my mind
Just know that Im trying
I dont know, where to go, highs and lows
Its got me feelin lost again
I dont know, where to go, highs and lows
Itsgot me thinkin it is the end
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe, breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe, breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe, breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe
Broken, empty
Pain, envy
Love, deadly
Lust, tempting
I just want to feel somethin right now, anything, anything
Id give my all to smile right now, everything, everything
Im so sick of crying, I just wanna die
Thoughts of suicide, just know I lost hope
Say I victimize, give me weak advice
Like Im lying just to get likes on my post
Say its in my mind, say I never try
Like you know me, sorry, you really dont
Whyd I even try to tell you my side, when deep in your eyes Im just a big joke?
Tryna live lately feels like a chore
I fight in my mind since my mind is at war
I stare at my phone cause Im tryna ignore that I realized theres no point in life anymore
And it sucks, I lost touch of the real me
Is there anyone out there that feels me?
Cause my hope is decreasing severely
I scream to God and its like he dont hear me, so
I sit in silence, my minds in control of me
I know this isnt what life is supposed to be
Is there anyone around? Cause its only me
I lost everyone thats ever been close to me
But how can I blame them when Im out of line?
One minute Im sad and the next I am fine
Theres so much inconsistency in my mind
Just know that Im trying
I dont know, where to go, highs and lows
Its got me feelin lost again
I dont know, where to go, highs and lows
Its got me thinkin it is the end
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe, breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe, breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe, breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe, breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe , breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe, breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe, breathe
Maybe I just need to–
I dont know, where to go, highs and lows
Its got me feelin lost again
I dont know, where to go, highs and lows
Its got me thinkin it is the end
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe, breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe, breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe, breathe
Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe