Several Years

Lately, all I feel is pain
近來，我能感受到了盡是苦痛
Feels like my heart doesn't beat the same
我的心跳已不是原來的節奏
I wanna give up and I just feel stuck in a life that I know I cannot change
我想要放棄，被困在無法改變的生活中
I'm really lonely and feel drained
很孤獨，很無力
Sometimes I feel like a mistake
有時覺得這就是個錯誤
I just sit and dwell in my trauma, my life's full of problems, I feel like I might break
浸於創傷，充滿矛盾，隨時崩潰
Try to move on, but I just can't
試著繼續前行，我做不到
Breakdown after breakdown
崩潰又崩潰
And, somedays, I wish I could run away just to escape and feel at ease even if it means one day
有些日子，我希望可以逃離，哪怕是一天
Where did my life go wrong?
我的生活是從哪開始脫軌的
I was a happy teen and now I'm in the dark
曾經是一個快樂的少年，現在我陷入了黑暗
Who's sad as hell and always at a loss
是誰悲傷得要死，總是不知所措
No one could tell I'm drowning in my thoughts
沒人能說出，唯獨我一人沉浸在消極的想法中
I'm still lost tryna find purposе
我仍然迷茫著，想找出因果
After all these yеars, I'm still searching
這些年，一直在尋找中
Hope you forgive me for being a burden
希望你原諒我是一個負擔
Self-love is something that I'm still learning
學著自愛
And I know I lie when I tell you I'm fine
我自己清楚“我沒事”是一句假話
'Cause nobody knows I'm struggling inside
因為沒有知道在裡面苦苦掙扎
Sorry if you see me cry
如果你看到了我哭泣，很抱歉
It's just I finally realized
最終我明白了
It's been several years
這幾年
Since I felt okay
自從我覺得這沒什麼
I'm losing my way and
就失去了前進的道路
It's been several years
很多年了
Since I've been on meds
即使我一直在吃藥
I still feel depressed and
但我仍舊感到抑鬱
It's been several years
很多年了
Since I felt alive
即使我仍舊能感受到自己的存在
There's no tears to cry and
欲哭無淚
It's been several years
很多年了
Since I had a friend
即使我仍舊擁有朋友
They came and went
來來往往
Lately, I feel so depressed
近來，我感到低沉
Tried to get help, but I'm still a mess
嘗試尋求幫助，但還是一團糟
I don't ever rest, I guess I'm stressed
我不休息，我猜壓力是必需品吧
Got my head down, hands gripping on my neck
我低下頭，雙手緊抓著脖子
Did I take my last breath?
剛才是最後的呼吸嗎
Did I walk my last step?
剛才是我走的最後一步嗎
I'm alive, but inside I am dead
表面上我活著，但我的內心其實已死
Look, I lied, I'm not fine 'cause my mind is a wreck
看吧，我撒謊了，我很不好，因為我的精神崩潰了
I saw pictures of me in elementary
我看到了小學時的照片
I don't remember teachers ever telling me
我不記得老師曾經告訴過我
I'd be an adult who senses people's energy
我會成為一個能夠感知人們正能量的成年人
Being an impact, attract souls who lack empathy
做一個有影響力的人，吸引那些缺乏同理心的人
When I look back, my past brings back bad memories
當我回首往事時，總是勾起不好的回憶
Plus, it's so sad, I had to withstand everything
而且，這太糟糕了，我必須承受一切
I felt my last ex thought, you stand next to me
我感覺到我最後的前任在想，你就站在我身邊
You stabbed my back and that hurt me bad mentally
你刺傷了我的心，這讓我精神上很受傷
It definitely changed me, but I forgive you
這確實改變了我，但我原諒你
I understand now that you had your own issues
我現在明白了，你有你自己的問題
Your fear of abandonment really convinced you
你對被遺棄的恐懼確信無疑
That you weren't enough of the love I would give you
你說我給你的愛還不夠
I tried , but I broke myself tryna fix you
我試過了，但為你，我毀了自己
And now I feel hurt that you couldn't commit to
現在我為你不能遵守承諾而感到傷心
Me or the love I would give you
我或者我給你的愛
Nobody knows what I've been through
沒人知道我經歷了什麼
It's been several years
很多年了
Since I felt okay
自從我覺得這沒什麼
I'm losing my way and
就失去了前進的道路
It's been several years
很多年了
Since I've been on meds
即使我一直在吃藥
I still feel depressed and
但我仍舊感到抑鬱
It's been several years
很多年了
Since I felt alive
即使我仍舊能感受到自己的存在
There's no tears to cry and
欲哭無淚
It's been several years
很多年了
Since I had a friend
即使我仍舊擁有朋友
That came and went
來來往往