I Hate New Years

Its January 1st 2021
現在是2021年1月1日
And Im in my feelings
我心裡感覺
And I just wanna rap
我只想rap
*** * a hook
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Yeah, why do I feel like Im depressed
為什麼我如此沮喪
I feel like my whole life is a mother****ing stress
我的生活就是壓力
Sometimes I see the news and wish that I could die next
有時看著新聞希望下一個死的是我
Its a crippling feeling that most could never digest
頹廢的狀態無法轉變
Every January 1st I dont wanna wake up
每個1月1日都不想醒來
Thats the day I met this girl who totally ****ed me up
那天是我和遇見的女孩分手的日子
Mentally, the PTSDs hurt and all of it sucks
精神上，PTSD的痛苦，一切都很糟糕
It left a hole chest that money cant cover up
它留下了一個金錢無法掩蓋的漏洞
Was never enough, I felt it deep in my bones
永遠無法填滿，深入骨髓
Always feeling disconnected, always glued to my phone
總是感覺不在狀態，總是用手機消磨時間
Tired of fakes friends, I cut them off so now Im alone
厭煩虛情假意的朋友，現在我已是一人
They dont love me for me they only love me cuz Im known
他們愛我不是因為我，他們愛我只是因為我為人所知
I got fans who support me and wanna see me win
我有粉絲支持我，希望我變好
But I feel like a loser Im a need a bottle of gin
但我是個失敗者，需要一瓶金酒
I made a million dollars but theres nothing to give
我賺了一百萬，但沒有可以給予的
If theres a god, tell me where has he been
如果有上帝，告訴我他去哪了
I been searching for real
我一直在尋找真實
Every new years, I get in my feels
每個一年，我都陷入情緒
Cuz I hate the way that I ****ing feel
我恨這情緒
I got scars that dont heal
我的傷疤無法癒合
Its a new year but its the same pain in my heart
這是一個新的一年，但我一樣的痛苦
And thats a hurt thats gon stick with me still
那是一種傷害，它會一直伴隨著我
I wonder if real love is something that I can find
我想知道我是否能找到真愛
In a world full a fakes who keep wasting my time
充斥著虛假的世界裡，一直浪費我的時間
I been questioning my faith and Im loosing my mind
我質疑我的信仰，失去了理智
If god is real then show me sign
如果上帝存在，那就給我一個記號