Dark Clouds

Smiling on the outside but trouble brews within
if only you knew how dark that it gets
I've got it all figured out right?
But I'm haunted by sin
choices I made that won't let me live
my house is filled with everything I want from wall-to-wall
I'd give it all back to hear my daughter talk
evil autism left me with the deepest scar
it's taking everything I got not to fall apart
and when I'm at my best I feel I'm falling off
depression creeping in and messing with the bars
sometimes I stay in the house and I don't leave at all
that's also when I create best I'm feeling torn
when I'm at my best I feel I'm falling off
depression creeping in and messing with the bars/ sometimes I stay in the house and I don't leave at all
that's also when I create best I'm feeling torn
I guess you can say I made it out
with trust issues, I helped people never the other way around suffered in silence I didn't make a sound
I guess it's my fault for never reaching out
I still cop Henny and crush the whole bottle
some look up to me but I am not your role model
I don't got all the answers I got my own problems
there's a lot of business I prefer to keep my nose out of
my son is 17 now real life is just starting
the scary thing is his love for money just like his father
I can't help but feel that something I'm a big part of
I know he heard the stories I pray he doesn't get caught up
in the lifestyle
judge me by what I'm doing right now
I showed you legal money could buy a house
relieved a lot of pressure when I putthat life down
it's not easy but I sacrifice proud
my thoughts go beyond working just to pay the rent
I make my boss a quarter mill I see 12%
you think that I appreciate it looking at how well I live/but I can't help but want more, is it selfishness?
when I'm at my best I feel I'm falling off
depression creeping in and messing with the bars
sometimes I stay in the house and I don't leave at all
that's also when I create best I'm feeling torn
when I'm at my best I feel I'm falling off
depression creeping in and messing with the bars
sometimes I stay in the house and I don't leave at all
that's also when I create best I'm feeling torn
Becoming successful can be stressful thoughts get dark you find yourself in a cesspool
quittings not an option because you know what that gets you
the ceiling don't exist there's more levels to get to
sometimes you lack confidence that's how I get to
look no further the answer is always within you
lessons learned we persevere through the knowledge
there's never been a problem that I couldn't conquer
hardest battles to his strongest soldiers never doubt it
the forecast will pass when you feel your vision is cloudy
sometimes I close my eyes and I remember jail
it was overcrowded I slept on the floor in my cell
it was short time but that year made me feel
I had to change for good and I did that so I prevail
you never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have then you realize it was in you all along
I know my family is here for me so it's God above
I’m a work in progress all I need is love
so now when I’m at my best, I know it’s just that
all my pain is gone I left it all on this track