King Of Suede

Theres a sale on our gabardine suits today.
Theyre all thirty percent off from yesterday.
Theres Fortrel polyester, leather, wool and *****.
Just a Visa or Mastercard is all you need.
Weve got every color, weve got evry shade.
Were located next door to Willys Fun Arcade.
We got every fabric that was ever made,
But Im known in this city as the King of Suede.
We got portly and regular and extra-long.
(Is my size up there?)
We got tailors to fix it, if it comes out wrong.
(Is my size up there?)
We got all kinds of sweatshirts, you can take your pick.
(Is my size up there?)
With the collars ripped off, like that Flashdance flick.
(Is my size up there?)
Our prices are low, my staff is underpaid.
You can buy off the rack, or have it custom made,
And its all guaranteed to never shrink or fade,
Cause of my reputation as the King of Suede.
If you need a tuxedo for your junior prom,
(Is my size up there?)
We can get you the best one thats made in Taiwan.
(Is my size up there?)
We got jackets with patches on the elbows, too.
(Is my size up there?)
And well sell em all factory-direct to you.
(Is my size up there?)
Well, I never made it past the second grade.
It took all of my life for me to learn this trade.
But my friends are all thinking that Ive got it made,
Cause Im known the world over as the King of Suede.
Theres a two-for-one sale on our three-piece suits.
Check out our suede pajamas and our suede-covered boots.
You can try on our suede underwear if you choose.
Do what you want, but dont step on my blue suede shoes.
King of Suede.
Dont miss out on our giant liquidation sale.
(Is my size up there?)
Look for our color catalog in next weeks mail.
(Is my size up there?)
Theres a sale on our double-knit slacks today.
Its the same old sale as yesterday.
Thirty years in the same location I have stayed,
There I am, right next door to Willys Fun Arcade.
I got tough competition but Im not afraid,
Cause its my destiny to be the King of Suede.
King of Suede.
King of Suede.
King of Suede.
Ill always be King of Suede.
Ill always be King of Suede