ya got trouble

Well, Either you're closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster
Indicated by the presence of a pool table in your community.
Well , you got trouble, my friend
Right here, I say trouble right here in River City
Why, sure, I'm a billiard player certainly mighty proud to say I'm always proud to say it
I consider that the hours I spend with a cue in my hand are golden
Help you cultivate horse sense
And a cool head and a keen eye
You ever take and try to give an ironclad leave to yourself from a three-rail billiard shot?
But just as I say it takes judgment, brains and maturity to score in a balk-line game I say that any boob
Can take and shove a ball in a pocket
And I call that sloth
The first big step on the road to the depths of degrada
I say first Medicinal wine from a teaspoon
Then beer from a bottle
The next thing you know your son is playing for money in a pinch-back suit
And listening to some big out of town jasper
Hearing him tell about
Horserace gambling
Not a wholesome trotting race, no, but a race where they set down right on the horse!
Like to see some stuck-up jockey boy setting on Dan Patch?
Make your blood boil? Well, I should say!
Now, friends,Let me tell you what I mean
You got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 pockets in a table
Pockets that mark the difference
Between a gentleman and a bum
With a capital B and that Rhymes with P and that stands for pool
And all week long your River City youth'll be frittering away I say your young men'll be frittering
Frittering away their noontime, suppertime, chore time too.
Get the ball in the pocket never mind getting dandelions pulled or the screen door patched or the beefsteak pounded
Never mind pumping any water till your parents are caught
With the cistern empty on a saturday night and that's trouble
Yes, you got lots and lots of trouble
I'm thinking of the kids in the knickerbockers, shirttail young ones
Peeking in the pool hall window after school
You got trouble, folks
Right here in River City
Trouble with a capital T and that Rhymes with P and that stands for pool
Now I know all you folks are the right kind of parents
I'm going to be perfectly frank
Would you like to know what kind of conversation goes on while they're loafing around that hall?
They'll be trying out Bevo
Trying out Cubebs
Trying out Tail or Mades like cigarette fiends
And bragging all about how they're going to cover up a telltale breath with Sen-Sen one fine night
they leave the pool hall
Headin' for the dance at the armory
Libertine men and scarlet women and ragtime
Shameless music that'll grab your son
Your daughter, with the arms of a jungle animal instinct
Mass-teria
Friends, the idle brain is the devil's playground, trouble!
We got trouble
Right here in River City
With a capital T and that rhymes with P And that stands for pool
We've surely got trouble
Right here in River City
Got to figure out a way to keep the young ones moral after school
Mothers of River City,
Heed that warning before it's too late.
Watch for the telltale signs of corruption.
The minute your son leaves the house
Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee?
Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger ?
A dime novel hidden in the corn crib?
Is he starting to memorize jokes
from Captain Billy's Whiz Bang?
Are certain words
Creeping into his conversation?
Words like ....
Like 'swell.'
And 'So's your old man.'
If so, my friends
You got trouble
Right here in River City
With a capital T and that rhymes with P And that stands for pool
We surely got trouble
Right here in River City
Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock And the Golden Rule
Oh-ho, we got trouble
We're in terrible, terrible trouble
That game with the 15 numbered balls is the devil's tool
Oh, yes, we got Trouble, trouble, trouble
With a T
Got to rhyme it with P
And that stands for pool