中國化

喲我們就住這兒
Yeah, we're here
帶著最潮的旋律
with the hottest flow
和剛出爐的煎餅
And the hottest Jian Bing
清晨我在大陸中央的王國醒來
Rolling out of bed, Middle Kingdom
敲門的聲音似鼓聲瑟瑟
knocking feeling like a drum
餃子已經送到門口了
breakfast at the door, Jiao Zi
昨天晚上預定的
last night ordered them
外賣小哥說了一口方言，聽得我云裡霧裡好難過
Wai Mai dude speaking Fang Yan, I'm feeling dumb
但我一點也不會厭倦
but these days, I'll never get bored of them
因為我們就住在中國
Because we living here in China
我的身份
I'm a
是個詩人
rhymer
告訴你中國眼下正發生著什麼
telling you the story of this setting
從歪果仁的視角來與你訴說
through the eyes of another Wai guo ren
漂洋過海的歪果仁一手掌舵
the ones that came out here they call helmsman
我此刻的指尖在淘寶劃過
and now I'm flipping through Tao Bao
有支付寶一切盡在掌握
and somehow with the know-how and Zhi Fu Bao
在這個網站上所求皆有貨
you can buy anything you want on this website
你沒看見之前根本不知道自己很想要
and the things you didn't know you wanted til sight
指尖陀螺還是開瓶器
bottle-opening fidget spinner
能煮蛋的烤麵包機
a toaster that makes eggs
粉色的褲腿往狗狗身上套
pink trousers for dog legs
印著莫名外語的衣服一套又一套
whole collections of clothing with english words that make no sense
Upsoab是什麼？
What is Upsoab?
像遛狗繩一樣的遛倉鼠繩？買買買！
Is that like a dog leash, but for hamsters? Buying that!
不瘋魔

我就不成活
Call me crazy
但我來到這裡是為了嘗試新生活
Call me crazy
別說可能
but I came here for something new
我們不說有可能
Don't say maybe
我們的口頭禪是只有我能
We don't say maybe
你問為何來中國？
We say this, well I can do
可為何不是中國
you ask Why China?
胡同和小巷都能把你繞暈
yeah we reply Why not China?
靠你自己來把路認清
take on its confusing Hu Tongs and streets
你問為何來中國？
and make it on your own
可為何不是中國
you ask Why China?
我們有外賣快遞，還有微信
yeah we reply Why not China?
沒有了手機我就沒有了命
with Wai Mai, Kuai Di, we chat
I'd be super screwed without my phone
現在我在街上和朋友找自行車
RAP:
騎到東直門吃最愛的火鍋
So now I'm out on the street looking for a few bikes with my friends
我們不是土豪沒有奔馳可以坐也不是什麼異鄉客
so we can go to our favourite hotpot place right by Dong Zhi Men
但是喲我的口罩在哪，戴上了它我就能自由騎行
No, we ain't expats, we ain't Tu hao，we ain't got Mercedes Benz
用微信叫滴滴，瞬間就來了位司機
but yo where's my Kou Zhao, can't ride in this pollution
中國朋友點餐特別多夠我吃四十天
open Wechat call a Di Di, we be on our way
用筷子夾起豆腐有點難，但我也還行
chinese friends order food, enough for 40 days
聚完了餐大家搶著要買單
Tofu with chopsticks is really hard, well that's okay
但在微信群裡我們把費用平攤
and then they fight to pay
用同一個APP我就叫了個滴滴回家了
but we split the bill on we chat
現金已然失寵
and I use that app to call a Di Di to go back
我只用手機支付
and I don't even carry cash anymore
叮
I use my phone to pay
門鈴響了？
ding
啊是倉鼠繩到了
is that my door?
可我
yes my hamster leash is here already
忘了一件事，我並沒有養倉鼠
but I
你說淘寶有賣嗎？
I forgot one thing.. I don't have a hamster
我唱這首歌可不是為裝酷
think I could buy one on Tao Bao?
希望你們和我一起唱
Dont think I'm just to cool to do a funny song and I
之前英國脫了歐還選了個川普
I was hoping that you all could sing along and I
世事紛爭之外的我品味烏龍
I've been thinking after Donald Trump and Brexit
公園裡有老人與我共舞
and the chaos and the mayhem I'll sit here and sip oolong and I
不懂他們問”你是誰“，只好這樣回答
dancing with old people dancing in the park and I
barely understand them, asking /who we are/, reply
不瘋魔
你說什麼？我聽不懂
我就不成活
Call me crazy
但我來到這裡是為了嘗試新生活
Call me crazy
別說可能
but I came here for something new
這裡沒有可能
Don't say maybe
我們的口頭禪是只有我能
We don't say maybe
你問為何來中國？
We say this, well I can do
可為何不是中國
you ask Why China?
胡同和小巷都能把你繞暈
yeah we reply Why not China?
靠著你自己來把路認清
take on its confusing Hu Tongs and streets
你問為何來中國？
and make it on your own
可為何不是中國
you ask Why China?
我們有外賣快遞，還有微信
yeah we reply Why not China?
沒有了手機我就沒有了命
with Wai Mai, Kuai Di, we chat
I'd be super screwed without my phone