words fail (from the “dear Evan Hansen” original motion picture soundtrack)

I never meant to make it such a mess
I never thought that it would go this far
So I just stand here sorry
Searching for something to say
Something to say
Words fail, words fail
There's nothing I can say
I guess I thought I could be part of this
I never had this kind of thing before
I never had that perfect girl
who somehow could see the good part of me
And I never had the dad who stuck it out
No corny jokes or baseball gloves
No mom who just was there
'Cause mom was all that she had to be
That's not a worthy explanation
I know there is nothing
Nothing can make sense of all these things I've done
Words fail, words fail
There's nothing I can say
Except sometimes you see everything you want
And sometimes you see everything you wish you had
It's right there, right there, right there
In front of you
And you want to believe it's true
So you make it true
And you think maybe everybody wants it
And needs it a little bit too
This was just a sad invention
It wasn't real, I know
But we were happy
I guess I couldn't let that go
I guess I couldn't give that up
I guess I wanted to believe it
'Cause if I just believe
Then I don't have to see what's really there
No, I'd rather pretend I'm something better than
These broken parts
Pretend I'm something other than this mess that I am
' Cause then I don't have to look at it
And no one gets to look at it
No,no one can really see
'Cause I've learned to slam on the brake
Before I even turn the key
Before I make a mistake
Before I lead with the worst of me
I never let them see the worst of me
'Cause what if everyone saw?
What if everyone knew?
Would they like what they saw?
Or would they hate it too?
Will I just keep running away from what's true?
All I ever do is run
So how do I step in
Step into the sun
Step into the sun