Vending Machine of Love

(from OnlyCans thirst date)
（歌曲出自《罐子特供：飢渴約會》）
(song by the Stupendium)
（作者：the Stupendium）
(stup:'a dear friend recently asked me to compose a theme song for his new game.')
（stup：“我一好哥們讓我給他的新遊戲寫首曲子。”）
('this is that theme song. ')
（“這就是那首歌。”）
('I would like to formally apologise in advance.')
（“我想先正式地向他致歉。”）
(please LIKE and SUBSCRIBE.)
（請點亮紅心並關注stup大叔）

這是一首歌，關於軟飲料的。
this is a song,about soft drinks.
就這麼多。
and nothing else.
把你的下流想法收收吧。
get your mind out of the gutter.
（開罐聲）

嘿伙計們
*puff
口燥難忍了吧？
Hey guys
缺少滋潤的女士們想要熬過去對吧？
Are your lips dry?
我可知道各位姑娘和小伙們最愛的事
Any desiccated ladies trying to get by?
一起過來享受些許滑潤吧
I know the best way for the girls and the boys to
所以你在尋找百萬里挑一的那位伴侶？
Come together and enjoy a little MOISTURE
而碳酸飽和也不是你想要的方式
So you're waiting on the mate that's one-a-million?
你覺得這很奇怪但寶貝請放下顧慮
And carbonation ain't the way that you envisioned
然後讓你的約會滑進這些鋁製品
You say it's strange but baby shed your inhibitions
（浪蕩的藍莓餡味）
And let your date slip into something ALUMINIUM
她既優雅
*Blueberry Tart
也伶牙俐齒
She's elegant
還熱情溢泡
And eloquent
狡猾地在我胡茬裡留下液滴
And so effervescent
如此地讓人感到舒暢
Subtle bubbles in my stubble
從未想過我能撞見
Feeling ever so pleasant
這麼精緻純粹的女孩
Never thought I'd find a girl
免費加入消費套餐
With such a delicate essence
熟食店裡就能偶遇
Free with the meal deal
看見冰肌玉骨的你坐在雪櫃裡拋著媚眼
At the delicatessen
你是“冠”名組織裡的一員？
Saw you sitting in the fridge with a twinkle
還是孤身自處？
Are you a multy-pack Can?
稍微品會再噴出些什麼也不能算是犯罪
Or are you single?
我也才剛把手指插入你的開孔
A little sipping and a spritz isn't sinful
所以快把硬幣塞入這台愛情的販賣機
I'm just finna get my finger in your ring pull
然後享受輕佻的少女喘出

你夢裡不斷幻想的聲音
So slot your pennies in the Vending Machine of Love
如果你是被慾望折磨的孑然之人
And pick that fizzy little minx
你可以在OnlyCans中“觀”賞到香溢四濺的場面
That you've been dreaming of
每罐尤物都有著被“灌”滿的渴求
If you're cursed with the thirst of a lonely man
因此我希望你能“管”理好這330毫升的量度
You Can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans
在泡沫般膨脹的騷動中逐漸迷失
Every glamorous Can has a heart to fill
尋得你的摯愛
So I hope that you Can handle three-thirty mil
當你沉迷於OnlyCans汩汩的液體中
Get lost in the froth as the foam expands
你早就看過了其它藝術性的付費內容
Get your loving
但那些女孩哪會有覆盆子的醇鬱味
While you're glugging on some OnlyCans
所以如果你咬定我們只是家污穢不堪的罐廠

那得要習“慣”我們18+的
Now you've seen other paysite galleries
卡路里
But none of those girls taste like raspberries
因此讓她盡情噴濺吧
So if you think we're just some obscene Cannery
在風流地調情過後
All our Cans are 18+
急不可耐的嘶嘶聲

不就是你到此的目的嗎
Calories
我們調製好了針對各種癖好的多種口味！
So,give a spray
（未經開發的櫻桃味）
For some flirtatious behaviour
你能說我們粗俗
That come-hither hiss
盡“管”如此，你可不能說我們平淡無奇
Is what you came for
接下來隨你直接開動或者再調製一番
We've been brewing up a plethorra of flavours!
再帶TA回家同餐共飲
*CherryPop
每個人的雞尾酒裡都摻了不一樣的泡聲
Say we're crude
那又如何？無論作料目錄
You Can never say we're tasteless
在你的包裝上寫了什麼？
So if you drink it straight or with a mixer
我還未曾見過你們
Bring a mister or a missus home for dinner
但真是不見亦如故
Everybody's got a different fizzle in their spritzer
你們可是天作之合
What's it matter what ingredients
只要你倆“你情我願”就好
Are on your sticker?
無論你們是冷淡
I haven't met you all
平凡
But it's contextual
來者不拒
You're all impeccable
還是善變
If it's consensual
反正今天過後我們
If you're ACE-
全是“戀罐者”！
DEMI-
所以快把硬幣塞入這台愛情的販賣機
PAN-
然後享受輕佻的少女喘出
FLEXIBLE-
你夢裡不斷幻想的聲音
End of the day we are all
如果你是被慾望折磨的孑然之人
CAN-SEXUAL
你可以在OnlyCans中“觀”賞到香溢四濺的場面

每罐尤物都有著被“灌”滿的渴求
So slot your pennies in the Vending Machine of Love
因此我希望你能“管”理好這330毫升的量度
And pick that fizzy little minx
從不自保是我們的一“貫”作風
That you've been dreaming of
尋得你的摯愛
If you're cursed with the thirst of a lonely man
當你沉迷於OnlyCans汩汩的液體中
You Can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans
突兀冒泡
Every glamorous Can has a heart to fill
但我“貫”徹我的直率
So I hope that you Can handle three-thirty mil
的確是有些黏糊
We Can SEMI-guarantee that we won't be banned
可我們會把溢出的舔掉
Get your loving
只有這個應用
While you're glugging on some OnlyCans
能滿足玩弄錫罐的花花公子們

抓拍好這些“罐頭”
May be fizzy
用你習“慣偷”拍景“觀”的鏡頭
But I'll spit a little Candour
啊！
Sure it's sticky
鐵罐也能披“綸”戴“冠”跳起“鸛”舞？
But we'll lick the spillage after
罐子當然能
There's only one app
戛納“官”方銷售的罐子成為了
For tin Can philanderers
在加拿大“關”心著“故岸”的法“裔拉罐”
Snapping what the Can did
粗“獷”的堪培“拉罐”邀你上舟齊“逛”
With your Candid Camera
想在芹苴的面“館”裡“摜”完面再摟住當地罐深吻？
UH!
墨西哥“冠”軍罐在坎昆餐“館”裡
Can a Can Can-Can?
衣“冠”不整、隨意走“光”地“鼓案”激舞
Yes it Can
並再為你“灌”上一杯
All the Cans in Cannes are
與斯堪的納維亞鐵罐野營“觀”“光”
Canuck Cans in Canada
浪跡在樹“冠”下的“谷岸”旁
Manly Cans in Canberra in Canoes
和你親密的愛罐一起
Grabbing noodles and Canoodling with Cans in Can Tho?
與意大利罐分享這塊“冠”名的奶油餡卷
MexiCan Cans in Cancún
在“灌”溉的運河上打發燭“光”共舞前的時間
SCandalously sCantily Clad in their sCanties
接著奔向“廣”闊的坎特伯雷“觀”景
And deCanting at you
只為“慣”著這浪漫氛圍
Camping with a SCandinavian Can
不“管”怎樣你最好還是打消你的計劃
Under a Canopy,alone in a Canyon
風流的卡薩諾“瓦罐”也無法“管”住你的需求
With your Can boo
坎塔布里亞酒“館”的女“倌”們靜待客“官”到來
Share a Cannoli with Italian Cans
在加納利群島上閒“逛”
On the Canals before a Candlelit dance
然後打橋牌打到輸“光”底褲
Then Canter off to Canterbury
而你的罐子“伴鋁”不小心弄得你滿手液體
For a Canny romance
靠北
You better Cancel your plans
這種“廣”東風味難道不正是你的最愛嗎
This Can-sanova Can' t handle the demand
所以快前往
Of Cantabrian Can-oritas in Cantinas with fans
柬埔寨“觀”望
On the Canary Islands
你可以讓當地的風味把你“灌”滿
Strip Canasta 'til you're down to your pants
再投多一個圓硬的鍍鉻幣
And your Can-panion froths over your hand
愛情從未如此低鈉過
Damn
外“觀”像小吃？
These Cantonese Shizes are your creamiest stans
“冠”名為開胃餅
So go over to
像奧“觀”海一樣競選？
Can-bodia
“冠”名為候選人
You Can let the local flavour flow over you
能往舌尖“灌”入甜味？
Getting down with the hard round Chiomium
“冠”名為糖果“管”杖
Loving's never been so low sodium
能轟鳴它的槍“管”？
Can looking like a snack?
“冠”名為加農炮
That's a Canapé
感覺到心臟裡的罐狀體？
Can-paigning like Barack?
那是根醫用插“管”
That's a Candidate
能收到它的“關”心？
Can sweet on your tongue?
那是筒小茶罐
That's a Candy Cane
有打聽的習“慣”？
Can rocking them guns?
“管”他叫推銷人員
That's some Cannonade
漠不“關”心麻木遲鈍？
Feel that Can in your heart?
“管”這叫乖戾暴躁！
That's a Cannula
所以快把硬幣塞入這台愛情的販賣機
Can sends it's regards?
然後享受輕佻的少女喘出
That's a Can-nister
你夢裡不斷幻想的聲音
Inquisitive Can?
如果你是被慾望折磨的孑然之人
That's a Canvasser
你可以在OnlyCans中“觀”賞到香溢四濺的場面
Insensitive Cans?
每罐尤物都有著被“灌”滿的渴求
Cantankerous!
因此我希望你能“管”理好這330毫升的量度

嘿！ “管”住你拿著鏡頭的手！
So slot your pennies in the Vending Machine of Love
尋得你的摯愛
And pick that fizzy little minx
當你沉迷於OnlyCans汩汩的液體中
That you've been dreaming of
所以快下載OnlyCans，這專為飲料愛好者的應用。
If you're cursed with the thirst of a lonely man
它利潤可高了。
You Can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans
啊，哦不，抱歉，
Every glamorous Can has a heart to fill
是它可滋潤了。
So I hope that you Can handle three-thirty mil
嘶...我的錯。
Hey!Don't touch,just hold the Cam!
（完）
Get your loving
While you're glugging on some OnlyCans

so download OnlyCans,the app sold to lovers.
it's got very high-ratings.
ah oh not,sorry,
it's very hyd-rating.
my mistake.
(End)