Dog Song

If the head was smaller
If the tail were longer
If he faced the water
If the paws were hidden
If the neck was darker
If the back was curved
More like the parasol
Bumbum bum bumbumbum
Bumbum bum...
More shade
More tail
More grass
Would you like some more grass?
Mmmm...
Ruff! Ruff!
Thanks, the week has been rough
When you're stuck for life on a garbage scow
Only forty feet long from stern to prow
And the crackpot in the bow-wow, rough
The planks are rough
And the wind is rough
And the master's drunk and mean and
Gruff! Gruff!
With the fish and scum
And planks and ballast
The nose gets numb
And the paws get callused
And with splinters in your ass
You look forward to the grass
On Sunday
The day off
Off! Off! Off!
Off!
The grass needs to be thicker. Perhaps a few ****s. With some ants, if you would. I love fresh ants.
Roaming around on Sunday
Poking among the roots and rocks
Nose to the ground on Sunday
Studying all the shoes and socks
Everything's worth it Sunday
The day off
Bits of pastry
Piece of chicken
There's a handkerchief
That somebody was sick in
There's a thistle
That's a shallot
That's a dripping
From the loony with the palette
Yap! Yap!
Yap!
Out for the day on Sunday
Off my lady's lap at last
Yapping away on Sunday
Helps you forget the week just past
Everything's worth it Sunday
The day off
Yep!
Stuck all week on a lady's lap
Nothing to do but yawn and nap
Can you blame me if I yap?
Nope.
There's just so much attention a dog can take.
Being alone on Sunday
Rolling around in mud and dirt
Begging a bone on Sunday
Settling for a spoiled dessert
Everything's worth it
Sunday
The day off
Something fuzzy
Something furry
Something pink
That someone tore off in a hurry
What's the muddle
In the middle?
That's the puddle
Where the poodle
Did the piddle