Paint (feat. Josh Rabenold)

Here we go, a simple question
Got it on repeat something like
They may never know who you are
If you just keep smiling
So I just keep smiling
Like everything's gonna be alright
Some times I just wanna go back home
And crawl back in the bed and go back to my childhood
In two thousand and two, I could still dream
Didn't need to
Never feel so see through
Scared of the present, past is a lesson
And now I wanna sequel. Everybody thinks they know me
That's true, why am I so lonely?
On the outside looking in on my own reflections
Like where've you been
Hey it's me again, nice to meet again
Mister "I don't want your help, I don't need a friend"
Think you got it all figured out, you don't
If you think time is gonna help you change, it won't
Both know, we can never get so low
Hide them with the thoughts
Which you write but you don't show
It's all good 'till you lose yourself
We both know the way that feels
Put it on your back so stressful, hold tight, don't let go
Break those thoughts to let go
Through that home you grew up in
It's not so simple
Look at them, so quick their judge, hate, admire and love
Anything and anyone you paint your picture of...

I'm gonna paint you a portrait, I'm gonna cover up the flaws
You'll only see what I put in the frame, hanging on the wall
I'm gonna draw you a picture, of a man who has it all
You'll never see any of the pain, hanging on the wall

I'm tryna grow with the changes, rearrange my focus
Keep the surface clean but I mean when I change a view it's like
Moving a paintbrush
So we all get the things that we don't wanna show
It's not easy to, come clean with you when I don't mean to be rude
But my skin's so uncomfortable. I just
Wanna run, chase the sun around
Life's been so dark in this town
How to tryna get up when you're so f**ked up and become so used to being down
When the drugs stop working
And the pain's still present
Not as strong as I claim to be, I'm just
Still here to deliver this message
Need to turn back, don't deserve that
Eventually this picture'll turn black and I'll be ghost
You wanna seek everything that I tried to hide 'cause I don't confide in you
You just don't get it, I'm too different so pathetic
Don't play but I feel so indebted, so ugly disconnected
Put it all for the world to see I'm just
Don't wanna be told I'm not enough
Stuffed all of the problems down
And I colored this cave with some broken crayons
It's all pain in the process, I'm like "I'm fine I got this"
Change the topic, here it is. I'll paint the picture to leave you with

I'm gonna paint you a portrait, I'm gonna cover up the flaws
You'll only see what I put in the frame, hanging on the wall
I'm gonna draw you a picture, of a man who has it all
You'll never see any of the pain, hanging on the wall

One day we can watch this fall apart and you'll see me
What's the point when I'm scared to move
And I feel so low compared to you and I'm sinking
I don't cry for help, I use the map
I draw myself and still pretend my love is not a broken compass
'cause I know the feelings were still often felt in my numbness
Here waiting for this to develop
And living my life up under this umbrella, the color is gone
I know that it's wrong
But I can't stop this, nah I can't face this truth
When I break it down and it never shows just know I did this all for you

I'm gonna paint you a portrait, I'm gonna cover up the flaws
You'll only see what I put in the frame, hanging on the wall
I'm gonna draw you a picture, of a man who has it all
You'll never see any of the pain, hanging on the wall