Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me

Oh the sand keeps falling through the hourglass
There's no way we're gonna slow it down.
You say we've gotta treasure each moment
Who knows how long we're gonna be around?
Yeah, you keep on telling me life is short,
And it's hard to disagree with what you say.
But, if time is so precious why you wastin' mine?
Cause I'm always reading; always deleting
Every useless piece of garbage that you send my way!
Every stupid hoax, all those corny jokes,
[05:13.15][02:45.44][02:18.23][01:20.50][01:01.58][00:52.44][04:45.46][04:52.42][04:34.63][04:12.47][04:08.68][04:04.87][03:59.12]Stop forwarding that crap to me
Well I don't need tons of cringe-inducing puns,
No, it isn't OK if you brighten my day
With some cut-and-pasted hackneyed Hallmark poetry.
And I didn't request a personality test.
[05:20.31][01:26.21]
You're sending virus-laden, bandwidth-hogging attachments
To every single person you know.
You pass around a link to some dumb thing on Youtube
That everybody else already saw 3 years ago.
And wacky, badly, photoshoped billboards were never that amusing to me.
And I just can't believe you believe those urban legends
But I have high hopes, someone'll point you towards Snopes
And debunk that crazy junk you're spewing constantly.
No, I don't want a bowl of chicken soup for the soul.
Send more top ten lists and I'll slash my wrists
Please, stop forwarding that crap to me
Well I'm sorry I can't accept your paranoid rant
And I don't want the Nieman-Marcus cookie recipe.
Won't you kindly refrain, 'cause it's hurting my brain.
Like glittery hearts and unicorns and pictures of somebody's cat!
Now tell me, in what alternate reality would I care about something like that?
And, by the way, your quotes from George Carlin aren't really George Carlin!
Mister Rogers never fought the Viet Cong!
And Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing.
And I highly doubt some dead girl's gonna kill me
if I don't pass your letter along!!
Well I know you're wishin' I will sign your petition
But, stop forwarding that crap to me
And I don't wanna read your series of conspiracy theories
Just stop forwarding that crap to me
And your 2 million loser friends all have my address now
Cause you never figured out the way to BCC
Now, I gotta insist...
Take me off your list!
Stop forwarding that crap to me (Just stop it now.)
Stop forwarding that crap to me (Oh, nooo)
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Stop forwarding that crap to me (I can't take it!)
Stop forwarding that crap to me (Ah, Please!)
Stop forwarding that crap to me (You gotta stop!)
Stop forwarding that crap to me (Right NOW!)
Stop forwarding that crap to me (I'm not kidding!)
At the risk of being slightly repetitious gonna ask you now to STOP!
STOP! (Sending me that)
CRAP! (I don't want it!)
Don't send it to me! No, don't send it to me
Stop forwarding that crap to me (Just stop!)
To me