Hope of Morning

My mind's a kaleidoscope, it thinks too fast
我的思想如万花筒一般迅速闪现
Blurs all the colors 'til I can't see past
努力模糊所有的颜色，然后我便看到了从前
The last mistake, the choice I made
那是上一次犯的错和我所做出的抉择
Staring in the mirror with myself to blame
盯着镜子里的自己，我无比自责
Sometimes I'm afraid of the thoughts inside
有时候，我会很恐惧我内心的一些念头
Nowhere to hide inside my mind
甚至找不到地方去隐藏它们
I'm scared that you'll compare and
我怕你会计较
I'll look a lifetime past repair
所以我花掉我从前的快乐让一切变得更好

我第二次想离开的时候
I second guess myself to death,
我一遍遍扪心自问

如果我说的话再无意义会怎样？
I re-solicit every step
如果我的心迷失在此又会怎样？

我试图捕捉每一分钟，假装自己本来就拥有过
What if my words are meaningless?
试图隐藏起所有记忆让它们能安安静静地陪我
What if my heart's misleading this?
当我心中那些清晨的希望开始褪色消失
I try to capture every moment as it comes to me
我不敢让黑暗抓住机会侵蚀掉我
Bottle up the memories and let them keep me company
而清晨的希望让我觉得反抗黑暗是如此值得

所以我今夜也不会向黑夜投降
When the hope of morning starts to fade in me
当我日渐老去，青丝不再，抑或步入而立之年

不管哪件事先降临
I don't dare let darkness have its way with me
我都会需要你来让我知道，我没有浪费一丁点

甚至，当我的生活最后沦为只剩我孤身一人的时候也一样
And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight
尽管就像你从来没存在过

当我细细剖析我的心、我的精神....
I will not be giving in tonight
这些都不重要，重要的是，有太多的迹象可循

我也实在不清楚我是疯了还是失眠过度
When I'm old and grey, or thirty,
如今“疯”是种潮流，小孩儿们无脑追逐并且喜欢诊断自己疯的程度
or whatever happens first,
攀比是种病
I'll need you to reassure me I didn't waste a verse
不能放弃治疗

但是我内心的凌乱却不能被治愈
Or worse, what if my life's work is reduced to just myself
不论是用一剂药，一瓶药，还是用刀片

自厌和自私一直将我禁锢
Like never let you get a word in,
而我不想让你看见我这样
while I dissect my mental health
我也不愿意让我朋友知道这些
Or lack thereof, whatever, there's too many things to track
自厌和自私无时不刻不在跟着我
I really can't remember if I'm insane or insomniac
当我心中那些清晨的希望开始褪色消失

我不敢让黑暗抓住机会侵蚀掉我
Now days, all the kids want crazy, wanna diagnose themselves
而晨间的希望让我觉得反抗黑暗是如此值得
Trade up made up epidemics,
所以我今夜也不会向黑夜投降
pass around prescription pills
而不管我多努力

为什么变好需要这么长的时间
But my disorder can't be cured
我想骗了整个世界，直到我慢慢好起来
by a bottle, blade, or dose
但我却怕被永远当成骗子
Self-disgust and selfishness tend to hold me awfully close
我不停想知道我脑子里到底哪儿不对了

我不是一定要明白，但是今晚我希望我能知道答案
But I don't wanna let you see that,
所有我不能搪塞过去的痛苦都不会消失
I don't want my friends to know
所有秘密因为羞愧而变得沉默
Self-disgust and selfishness take me everywhere I go
不要让我开口

不要让我说
When the hope of morning starts to fade in me
当我心中那些清晨的希望开始褪色消失

我不敢让黑暗抓住机会侵蚀掉我
I don't dare let darkness have its way with me
而晨间的希望让我觉得反抗黑暗是如此值得
And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight
所以我今夜也不会向黑暗投降

I will not be giving in tonight
Try as I might to keep it together

Why is recovery taking forever

Fool the whole world, just until I get better

I'm terrified I'll be faking forever

On and on I wonder what went wrong inside my head

I don't have to have the answers, but tonight I wish I did
All the pain I can't explain away won't fade

All the secrets silenced by the shame
Don't make me say it
Don't make me say it

When the hope of morning starts to fade in me

I don't dare let darkness have its way with me

And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight

I will not be giving in tonight