I Can't Get Behind That

William Shatner/
Henry Rollins
BILL: Let's go.
Ready? From the top...
BILL: My favorite shows on
TV have twelve minutes of advertising.
I can't get behind that kind of time!
ROLLINS: Eat quickly.
Drive faster.
Make more money now!
I can't get behind that.
BILL: My kids say:
He said to me, and
I'm like... and he's like... and she's like...
ROLLINS: It's all...
He's all...
She's all...
BILL: I can't get behind that kind of like,
English! B
ILL: That'll be six to eight weeks before delivery.
ROLLINS: The rising oceans, the warming temperatures!
BILL: The dying polar bears--no, tigers--in fifty years!
ROLLINS: Rising poison in the air and water!
BILL: I can't understand why the price of gas suddenly rises when oil goes up...
ROLLINS: ...but takes months to go down long after oil falls!
BILL: I can't get behind any of that!
BILL: I can't get behind the
Gods, who are more vengeful, angry, and dangerous if you don't believe in them!
ROLLINS: Why can't all these
Gods just get along?
I mean, they're omnipotent and omnipresent, what's the problem?
BILL: What's the problem?
BILL: What about the men who say '
Do as I do.
Believe in what
I say, for your own good, or
I'll kill you!'
I can't get behind that!
ROLLINS: I can't get behind that!
Everybody knows everything about all of us!
BILL: That's too much knowledge!
BOTH: I can't get behind that!
BILL: Yeah!
And what about student drivers using my streets to learn?
If you learn to play the drums you got to go to a studio!
Go to a parking lot, for
God's sake!
Why are you jeopardizing my life?
I can't get behind a student driver!
ROLLINS: I can't behind a driver who drives like a student driver!
If you're going to drive an urban assault vehicle then get off the phone and keep your eyes on the road!
ROLLINS: Lifetime guarantee?
BILL: Who's lifetime?
Not mine!
I haven't that much time left.
Let's make it yours.
Everybody's got a longer life than me!
BILL: The leaf blowers, is there anything more futile?
ROLLINS: Car alarms.
BILL: Clap off.
ROLLINS: Clap on.
BILL: Spam.
ROLLINS: Size matters.
BILL: No, it doesn't!
ROLLINS: Yes, it does!
BILL: No, it doesn't.
ROLLINS: Yes, it does!
BILL: No, it doesn't!
ROLLINS: Yes, it does!
BILL: No, it doesn't!
No, it doesn't!
ROLLINS: Yes, it does!
Yes, it does!
BILL: My phone rings!
ROLLINS: Make millions in minutes!
BILL: It's a computer!
ROLLINS: Lose inches in hours!
BILL: Leave me the
Hell alone!
ROLLINS: Eat more!
Spend less!
BILL: The
Colonel is breakdancing!
Give me a break!
ROLLINS: Credit terms raised!
BILL: I can't get behind any of that!
BILL: I can't get behind so-called singers that can't carry a tune, get paid for talking, how easy is that?
Well, maybe
I could get behind that!
ROLLINS: Well,
I can't! If you have to fix it with a computer: quantized, pitch corrected, and overly inspected, then you can't do it, and
I can't get behind that!
BILL: I--can't--get behind--a fat ass!
ROLLINS: Yeah,
Bill, can you turn around and do one more?
BILL: Always can do one more.
ROLLINS: Let's hit it!