The Thrill of First Love

WHIZZER: Hang up all your clothes.
MARVIN: Whizzer begs.
WHIZZER: Whizzer knows.
MARVIN: Shave your legs.
WHIZZER: Make me sick.
MARVIN: You're a prick-
WHIZZER: God you're impossible!
We've been together for nine months-
( MARVIN: Uh' ten months. WHIZZER: Nine Months. MARVIN: Ten Months. WHIZZER: Nine months. )
MARVIN: Ten months. We are the salt of the bourgeoisie-
WHIZZER: While I put the steak in-
MARVIN: I bring home the bacon.
BOTH: And we're proud to say we love it how we-
MARVIN/ WHIZZER: Don't/ Won't
(WHIZZER: Won't. MARVIN: Don't. WHIZZER: Won't. MARVIN: Don't. )
BOTH: Agree.
WHIZZER: Everything he owns is vile.
Marvin doesn't care a whit.
Marvin doesn't share my devotion to-
STYLE.
Men from France can cancel a debt.
Men in cufflinks make me forget my name.
I intend to upset
This regrettable game.
MARVIN: Whizzer takes me by the neck.
WHIZZER: What is this? Wash and wear?
MARVIN: Whizzer has unlimited knowledge of DRECK.
WHIZZER: Send me flowers.
MARVIN: Mention is made.
WHIZZER: Make them roses.
MARVIN: Attention is paid in full.
WHIZZER: See how quickly he sours!
MARVIN: When he pushes, I pull.
WHIZZER: Hang up your clothes, Marvin. Breeding shows, Marvin!
MARVIN: I was rich.
He was horny.
WHIZZER: We fit like a glove.
MARVIN: Close your eyes, Whizzer.
WHIZZER: Passion dies-
But I'd kill for that thrill of first love.
BOTH: We ask for passion at all times.
We stand to passion and drink this toast.
WHIZZER: Still it's awfully trying?
MARVIN: And we're not denying?
BOTH: That of all the lesser passions,
We like fighting most.

MARVIN: Whizzer screws too much to see,
What a joy is monogamy.
What a joy is saving his joys
For one man.
WHIZZER: Leave me.
MARVIN: Love me.
WHIZZER: Don't be a fool.
MARVIN: Want me.
WHIZZER: Feed me.
MARVIN: No one's so cruel and cheap.
WHIZZER: What I love I devour.
MARVIN: What you love you devour! What I covet I keep.
Isn't that right, Whizzer?
Let's both fight, Whizzer!
WHIZZER: I was trained in karate.
MARVIN: I'm best when I cheat.
So I'll cheat, Whizzer, and I'll shove.
And I'll kill for that thrill of first love.
WHIZZER: We've been together for nine months-
( MARVIN: Ten months. WHIZZER: Nine Months. MARVIN: For ten Months. WHIZZER: Nine months. )
MARVIN: Ten months. In fact we've almost survived a year.
WHIZZER: True, but-
BOTH: Who is counting?
We're too busy mounting a display of our affection.
That is so sincere.

BOTH: Passion dies.
Passion dies!
WHIZZER: I would kill for that thrill of first love.
MARVIN: I would kill for that thrill-
WHIZZER: I would kill for that thrill of first love-
MARVIN: Of first love- I would kill for that thrill-
WHIZZER: I would kill for that thrill of first-
MARVIN: I would kill for that thrill of first-
BOTH: Love, love, lo-ve!