Town Meeting Song

JACKListen, there were objects so peculiar
They were not to be believed
All around, things to tantalize my brain
It's a world unlike anything
I've ever seen
And as hard as
I tryI can't seem to describe
Like a most improbable dream
But you must believe when
I tell you this
It's as real as my skull and it does exist
Here, let me show you
This is a thing called a present
The whole thing starts with a box
DEVILA box?is it steel?
WEREWOLFAre there locks?
HARLEOUIN
DEMONIs it filled with a pox?
DEVIL, WER
EWOLF, HAR
LEQUIN DEM
ONA poxHow delightful, a pox
JACKIf you please
Just a box with bright-colored paper
And the whole thing's topped with a bow
WITCHESA bow?
But why?How ugly
What's in it?
What's in it?
JACKThat's the point of the thing, not to know
CLOWNIt's a bat
Will it bend?
CREATURE U
NDER THE S
TAIRSIt's a rat
Will it break?
UNDERSEA G
ALPerhaps it s the head that
I found in the lake
JACKListen now, you don't understand
That's not the point of
Christmas land
Now, pay attention
Now we pick up an oversized sock
And hang it like this on the wall
MR. HYDEOh, yes!
Does it still have a foot?
MEDIUM MR.
HYDELet me see, let me look
SMALL MR.
HYDEIs it rotted and covered with gook?
JACKHmm, let me explain
There's no foot inside, but there's candy
Or sometimes it's filled with small toys
MUMMY AND
WINGED DEM
ONSmall toys
WINGED DEM
ONDo they bite?
MUMMYDo they snap?
WINGED DEM
ONOr explode in a sack?
CORPSE KID
Or perhaps they just spring out
And scare girls and boys
MAYORWhat a splendid idea
This Christmas sounds fun
Why, I fully endorse it
Let's try it at once
JACKEveryone, please now, not so fast
There's something here that you don't quite grasp
Well, I may as well give them what they want
And the best ,
I must confess,
I have saved for the last
For the ruler of this
Christmas land
Is a fearsome king with a deep mighty voice
Least that's what
I've come to understand
And I've also heard it told
That he's something to behold
Like a lobster, huge and red
And sets out to slay with his rain gear on
Carting bulging sacks with his big great arms
That is, so
I've heard it said
And on a dark, cold night
Under full moonlight
He flies into a fog
Like a vulture in the sky
And they call him
Sandy Claws
Well, at least they're excited
Though they don't understand
That special kind of feeling in
Christmas land
Oh, well...