Is That Guy Kidding Or What?

Alright
See that?
That's what you call a new song
When I'm gonna stand up here and read the son of a bitch while I'm doing it
We figured that this is a good place to do this song
It's only been performed once before and that was the, the evening after it was actually written in uh, Boston
I'll tell you the story of this song
This is called CREATIVE DEVIATION FROM THE NORMAL PART OF THE PROGRAM
Simply because you trust the audience's good taste so much that you know that even if the band fucks up they'll go along with it
Alright
Because, ladies and gentlemen, this song has an important message and I believe this message has to be brought to the people of this great metropolitan area
Alright, now check this out
How many of you people feel that ROCK has gotten entirely TOO PREPOSTEROUS?
I see that you're not all convinced
Some of you believe that ROCK is REAL
I can see that there was probably about 20 percent of the audience has had it up to here
And the rest of you people still believe in that shit
Okay, well this is dedicated to the rest of you people that still believe in that shit
Now check this out: How d— how do you rationalize the appearance of an album entitled I'm In You?
I mean, wha--
What, what is that?
Is that guy kidding? (What, I gotta kiss you again?)
Okay. Really, look, all kidding aside, folks
Let's think about the world of rock, just for a moment
Some of you already have those cute little shirts on that say "disco sucks," right?
That's not all that sucks
Course Warner Brothers sucks, but besides Warner Brothers there are other things about this business that really suck
One of 'em is the way in which the subject of LOVE is dealt with in the lyrics of various 'serious rock artists,'
The intensive-care contingent of the rock world
These people, these people are FUCKED UP, I mean, they're really FUCKED UP
Because see, love isn't the way they're telling you about it, you know, they're telling you wrong
I'm gonna tell you right, you see
Now all of the ladies in the audience, you get to have fantasy time
This is female fantasy hour
Okay?
You're a teen-age girl, right?
You have abducted the succulent popstar of your choice, right?
You have taken the aforementioned popstar, who is really cute and Aryan and eats a lot of crumpets, back to your teen-age room
That's right, spindle twice
You have taken this turkey back to your room, you have laid on your teen-age bed
You have put your teen-age legs up in the air, you have actually taken your own teen-age pants off
You have the teen-age red bulb on, right next to the bed
The curtains are drawn, it's dark, it's midnight
You put on a Phoebe Snow record, you're really relaxing
Tears come to your eyes, you are sensitive, you are in love
The popstar of your choice takes off his pants and climbs on top of you, and the next thing you know you hear this little voice in your ear and it says
I'M IN YOU!"