Women Lose Weight

what a surprise
多驚喜
open your eyes
睜大你的眼睛
woman advisor
女性顧問
the name of this entertainement is
今天的娛樂節目名字叫
women lose weight
《女人減肥》
our first years of mariage everything was just great
新婚燕爾，一切是那麼美好
but after two kids
但自從有了兩個小孩
and a weight gain factor
體重漸漸上漲
the fact is
now shes completely unattractive
她已逝去魅力
look fat chicks
看著就像小胖雞
i dont mean to sound rude
我不想這麼尖酸
i tell her nice hit the gym
我婉轉建議她去健身房
and dont eat so much food
別吃那麼多
but no
但是她說
your shallow
你真膚淺
you need to run the course of unconditionnal love and so forth
你應該無條件愛我
but how if desires is not there
但如果慾望不再
thats just a lamon
只剩下悲傷（lament）
divorces, child support alamony payments
離婚、撫養費、贍養費（alimony payments）
my unhappiness i doubt discourage
我對我的不幸深表懷疑
so hurry for an easier way out of this marriage
想快點逃離這場婚姻
meanwhile my secretary june well groomed
我的漂亮秘書June問我
when you gonna leave your wife
“你什麼時候跟你妻子攤牌”
i tell her soon mommy soon i assume
我告訴她“快了快了
or my destiny is blue
不然我過的太慘了”
intrest only
有趣的是
the only thing left for me to do is to kill her
現在我唯一能做的就是殺了我妻子
what a surprise
多驚喜
open your eyes
睜大你的眼睛
woman advisor
女性顧問
im gonna have to kill her
我就要去殺她了
cause theres lots which imposes divorces
只為了順理成章的離婚
send her ass right to the morgue
把她送到停屍房
kill her
做掉她
what a surprise
多驚喜
open your eyes
睜大你的眼睛
woman advisor
女性顧問
im gonna have to kill her
我就要去殺她了
cause theres lots which imposes divorces
只為了順理成章的離婚
send her ass right to the morgue
把她送到停屍房
my place against all shanagans
我的計劃或者說是惡作劇
kinda rammed in
還有些不成熟
knowin nothing about poison
對下毒一無所知
and i cant swim
也不會游泳
bad intentions pumpin
壞念頭多了起來
might as well become a nun
漸漸變得麻木
cut her lungs or the obvious robbery gone wrong
割開她的肺或者來一次搶劫
what the catch is do i have the nerve to dispatch this
問題是我能把這任務派給別人嗎
who could i get to help me murder this fat chick
有誰能幫我殺掉這小胖雞
guess i have to play a dude robbin on wednesday
估計週三我得做一回羅賓漢
the day she usually goes food shopping
那天她回去採購食物
anyway long story short hit the side of her chrysler
無論如何，長話短說吧，我擊中了她那輛克萊斯勒
sent her clean over the divider
把她逼到邊緣
'you bastard' she said as the wreck went tumblin down the hill
“你這混蛋”她說這這句話和殘骸一起滾下山
i thought 'she has to be dead'
我想她應該死了
later on get a call
然後我接了個電話
(from a) lieutenant morgue
一個陸軍中尉打來的
(had me) leapin like a frog
讓我像個青蛙一樣高興地蹦起來
we need you at the morgue
“我們需要你來停屍房一趟”
so i selfishly persued
為了我自私的追求
' boohoo' there was nothing else for me to do i had to kill her
除了殺她，我也不能做其他的了
what a surprise
多驚喜
open your eyes
睜大你的眼睛
woman advisor
女性顧問
cmon yall know i had to kill her
拜託我也是不得不殺了她
cause theres lots which imposes divorces
為了順理成章的離婚
send her ass right to the morgue
把她送到停屍房
kill her
做掉她
what a surprise
多驚喜
open your eyes
睜大你的眼睛
woman advisor
女性顧問
i had to kill her
我必須做掉她
cause theres lots which imposes divorces
為了順理成章的離婚
send her ass right to the morgue
把她送到停屍房
so you mean to tell me officer you dont have no clue who did this hit and run
“所以警官，你們沒有凶手的任何線索？”
no sir we dont have no clues right now
“是的先生，現在我們還沒有任何頭緒”
this is terrible what am i gonna tell the kids ?
“這太糟糕了，我該怎麼跟孩子講”
pull yourself together sir
“您要振作一點，先生”
im so broken up inside i just cant believe this
“我已心如死灰了，太不能接受了”
i understand, i understand
“我們理解的”
catch the person who did this
“請你們一定要抓住兇手”
were gonna try sir
“我們會的，先生”
please
“求你們了”
screamin 'who done took my heart' like i was shooken up a lot
我尖叫著“誰帶走了我最親愛的人”，裝著渾身顫抖
at the funeral though everyone was lookin at me odd like i did it
葬禮上人人都奇怪的盯著我，就像知道是我做的一樣
like i was the reason my mates slain murmuring
好像我就是我妻子被謀殺的原因
'i heard he was displeased with her weight gain'
“我聽說他一直對她變胖不滿吶”
while my secretary sort of a ***y blonde cant cook
我的性感金發秘書並不會做飯
all she does is order from restaurants
她只會點外賣
all of the *** she wants
她的性需求我都能滿足
i doubt could have dressed, clothes not washed proper and house look a mess and
成堆的衣服不洗，房間亂的像豬窩
talkin to detectives that was waitin outside
和等在屋外的偵探交談
how i took a long lunch break day the wife died
自從妻子死後我過的多心酸
i done then turned pail
我臉色變得蒼白（darn near turn pale）
and because of betrayal they indited me, gave me an impossible bail
因為他們要起訴我，給我一個根本給不起的保釋金
good fortune to anyone admiring the rawtent
欣賞原始帳篷的人運氣好
moral of the story is
這個故事寓意就是
desire is important
慾望非常重要
so watch your weight
所以注意體重
itll keep you mate smitten its a given
保持對另一半的吸引力
though looking back i realised i didnt have to kill her
當我回想，其實我沒必要殺她
what a surprise
多驚喜
open your eyes
睜大你的眼睛
woman advisor
女性顧問
i didnt have to kill her
我沒必要殺她的
cause theres lots which imposes divorces
為了順理成章的離婚
send her ass right to the morgue
把她送到停屍房
i killed her
做掉了她
what a surprise
多驚喜
open your eyes
睜大你的眼睛
woman advisor
女性顧問
i didnt have to kill her
我沒必要殺她
cause theres lots which imposes divorces
為了順理成章的離婚
send her ass right to the morgue
把她送到停屍房
well there you have it
好了，現在你該明白
keep thin trim
保持身材
keep your mariage healthy
維持你的婚姻健康
do you know what i mean?
你懂我想說什麼吧？
small message from morcheeba and slick rick the ruler
這是來自Morcheeeba和Slick Rick的小小忠告