dear mama

Woke up in a strip club tell me where the **** Im at
在一個脫衣俱樂部這就是我媽醒來的地方
How'd I get here and how am I gonna get back
我是如何來到這裡的我又將如何離開
Check my phone missed call from my mom
打開手機全是媽媽留給我的未接電話
If she knew where I was shed have heart attack
如果她看到我這副樣子是否會心碎
Mom Im sorry I been knowing it's hard to call me
對不起媽媽我知道你此刻肯定很擔心
I dont answer I get nervous I know im causing
我沒有回復因為我害怕了我知道這是我一手造成的
Anxiety and stress youre baby birds out the nest
焦慮和壓力好像隨時都要把我吃掉
But I keep my wings to my chest
但我依舊不能低頭
Theres distance between us
我愛你但我與你彷彿相隔甚遠
I know that youll see this
我知道你會看到這些話
I love you and kelsey
我愛你和Kelsey
I swear that I mean it
我對天發誓我愛你們
Just in my feelings
可現在我感覺越來越糟了
Im sorry I need this
很抱歉我要用自己的方式麻痺自己
Throating this drink like I don't know my weakness
烈酒刺激喉嚨的一剎那我似乎無堅不摧
Most of my friends don't know none of my secrets
我所謂的那些朋友其實對我一無所知
Only Le Play he knows some of my secrets
只有Le Play他懂我所想
I got these demons they wreck me to pieces
我豢養的魔鬼要把我撕成碎片
When I say I love you thats when I mean it
我愛你我是認真的請你相信我
Today a pretty angel lost it's wings to fly
我嘗試逃離卻發現我早已失去了翅膀
Im hurting while the smoke stings my crying eyes
我抽噎著香煙漫進了我的眼睛好痛
Lost inside a cloud oh I swear I tried
漸漸的我迷失了但我發誓我真的嘗試過掙扎了
Falling to the ground but I dont wanna die
彷如突然墜落在地獄間救我救我我還不想離開
Mom Im sorry I know you see the scars on my body
我很抱歉媽媽我知道你看到了我身上的傷疤
But you will never stop me
可我清楚你永遠不會阻止我的
Trying I'm trying I swear that Im trying
我真的真的真的好想努力活下去啊
But the rope around my neck seems to always keep tightening
可為什麼那種要窒息的感覺越來越強了
But its hard when you know that youre ugly
從生到死我都將要掛著這張醜陋的嘴臉
And its hard when you know that youll fail
我永遠都將是失敗的永遠
And its hard when theres nothing above me
我身後寸草不生只有萬丈深淵
A mouthful of secrets that I could never tell
我永遠也不會說出埋葬在心底的千萬條秘密
And Im sorry that I never call you back and
我也很抱歉我從沒有考慮過你的感受
And Im sorry if I been quiet lately
如果最近一段時間我消沉萎靡
And Im sorry if I been getting mad
又如果我突然瘋癲不止很抱歉我不是故意的
But if Im only being honest hate the skin that you gave me
但實話來說我討厭你給我的這副軀殼
And I been trying to see the lights in the day
我曾發誓要在白天享受光芒萬丈
But the lights go out and the sky turns grey
可每當我準備好天空又立馬灰暗了
And my hearts been numb but the words wont stay
無所謂了都習慣了我誰都不會去說因為我還能擁抱自己
Just know that I love you and that will never fade ey
只要你知道我對你的愛那我將永存於世
Today a pretty angel lost its wings to fly
我失去了唯一的翅膀
Im hurting while the smoke stings my crying eyes
點燃一根香煙對自己說著沒事
Lost inside a cloud oh I swear I tried
我已無力掙扎了
Falling to the ground but I dont wanna die
但我真的不想死真的
Today a pretty angel lost it's wings to fly
我再也回不到從前了
Im hurting while the smoke stings my crying eyes
卻告訴大家我哭泣的原因是煙刺痛了眼睛
Lost inside a cloud oh I swear I tried
我真的累了
Falling to the ground but I dont wanna die
可我不想就這樣離開了我不想
You dont know that you got me
你不知道你對我來說有多重要
But I swear that you have me ok
我發誓我會一直愛你好嗎
You dont know that you got me
你知道嗎是你給了我活下去的力量
But I swear that you have me ok
我將伴你永遠