override

Pins & needles in the heart of my heart
And a typewritten lowercase “e.” at the crook of my arm
Heavy lifting and I'm stuck with myself
But it's purely elective engagement with everyone else
Detach your shadow
“Go Fish!” your tarot
Fling your unnameable fate at a crease in the wall
Trace your timeline to the moment you flinched
And gently suggest that you don't let it happen again
I need an override
Queasy listening to the pace of your breath
Counting the credible pathways to peace that I've left
Sea of eggshell and your blood on my hands
I'm wired to wait but I've waited as long as I can
Kick the tires
Pile the pyre
Float your unfaceable fate at the edge of the earth
Pin your timeline to the safest you've felt
And then strongly insist you won't settle for anything else
I need an override
No more future tripping
No more bleeding out the history
No more arguing the answer
When the answer isn't easy
No conditional forgiveness
No more narrative addiction
No more paying with my present
They can't take what I don't let them
I need an override