I Found Me

One time
If I could just get my mind right
I know my focus ain't aligned right
My thoughts drowning like the ocean
Scattered across four corners
Of my conscious, feel like I lost all control
Lord, I don't know why you're still blessing me
I don't know how the same s**t be steady stressing me
I do my best, but I'm failing
Been failing just like a newborn tryna take his first breath
My first step, fell on my ass
More than 20 years later, I'm looking for something to grab
I've been trying to hold to the ledge
That's all I could fit in my hands
I just pray that I never land
Pray for the strength just to climb again
And it's far away from all these people who just like to pretend
And be down, learning that you won't know nobody's intentions
**** a friendship, friends ain't do nothing for me
Than take me trust and bend it till it broke
And stabbed me in my back just when I thought they had it
These ****** full of tactics, b*****s full of tactics
Reason that I feel so safe at home
See that's what happens when your best friend just snatched up
Every dollar to your name and won't even pick up the phone
I'm just reacting to this hoe who used to have me
Who smashed my partner and ended up having a ******* family
Family members forgot what it means to come together
I was lost but I got my s**t together
Finally I found me
For ****** who come around when you up
But when you don they go missing and get to flipping
Finally, I found me
For b*****s who plotting but don't be down
Move around and get the hell up out my face
Finally, I found me
For everybody who use anybody for any reason
To leave when you deplete them
Tell them, I found me
Every day I struggle with my demons
Looked up in the mirror when I felt them leaving
Finally, I found me
I learn it through repetition, I'm steady inching
You can't learn if you never listen, I'm steady twisting
My favourite prescription, I blow with my baby
That's it though, I don't **** with you ******
And no, I ain't fronting you, s**t
I never deep because most ****** I used to depend on
Was just dependent and took for themselves, but never giving
Balance shifted, you wanna think for yourself?
Too many partners told me I'd rather be by myself
I'mma lead by myself, I guess that's why the world is selfish
Cause when my time come, there ain't nobody that gon' help me
Mama told me, "never show my hand to nobody"
Especially my friends that promise hard to understand
Cause I was tryna come up with my ******
Thought I was stuck with my ******
But I learned everybody don't share your visions or your interest
They only see the potential to come up
But as soon as it all fall down, they get to running
Like roaches when you cut the lights on, ay
Let me make sure my mic gone
I been feeling s**t for a minute
I do my dirt by my goddamn self
I'mma leave this earth by my goddamn self
My *****
I'm the only one that can stop myself
I watch my back, I know I got myself
That's the real s**t
Don't call my phone when you see that I'm on
See, I been in my zone for way too long
*****, I found me
For ****** who come around when you up
But when you don they go missing and get to flipping
Finally, I found me
For b*****s who plotting but don't be down
Move around and get the hell up out my face
Finally, I found me
For everybody who use anybody for any reason
To leave when you deplete them
Tell them, I found me
Every day I struggle with my demons
Looked up in the mirror when I felt them leaving
Finally, I found me
I found me
I found me
Tell them I found me
This is why I don't call you
Every time I call you, you don't answer the ******* phone
And then you don't call back
And then when I do get a hold of you, it's like
"Oh man, why don't you ever call me? What's wrong? Why don't you ever hit me up?"
Well, this is why I don't hit you up
Cause you never answer your phone
**** you, Dre