it’s a bad dream

I hide behind my madness
Outside, inside, Im damaged
Suicide, it might get tragic
Maybe it's a bad dream, maybe its a bad dream
Every time I look at me
I try so hard but I cant seem
To find a shred of decency
But maybe it's a good thing, its a good thing
Addicted into my sadness
Just another of my bad, bad habits
This **** gets hard to manage
Manic, depressive, sociopathic
I attract mistakes like a magnet
Chase ***** like Im playing in traffic
Till I crash it, end up in a casket
Maybe its a good thing, is anybody listening?
Yo, double fisting, driving like Im drifting
Drunk, spinning on a couch, *****, Im Rick James
Half demon, half saint, thats a split screen
Glad to be insane, mad for existing
Im giving up 'cause I don't believe
Im never gonna find a better part of me
I'm showing out, only what they see
Im always running circles when I try to leave
This broken soul, but I cant let go
And I lose control when Im on my own again
My childhood never lasted
My pain is everlasting
I'm flying but Im crashing
Maybe its a bad dream, maybe its a bad dream
When its all in front of me
I make a mess of everything
I **** it up in spite of me
Maybe its a good thing, its a good thing
Theres a hell at the bottom of the well
Where I drown to myself and the drugs wont help
Swimming in my troubles but Im not Michael Phelps
Aint no medals forthe double, aint no winning so I dealt
Strapped to a kamikaze plane, killing nazis
Decking paparazzi, the cops cant stop me
Not even the government want problems with my posse
Sixteen shots, got em shook like mob deep
Send a SWAT team, Im too fly to swat me, yeah
Let the block beat, swinging like Rocky, yeah
With my back against the wall, you couldnt box me
Live fast, get cash, car crash, die free
Im giving up cause I dont believe
Im never gonna find a better part of me
Im showing out, only what they see
Im always running circles when I try to leave
This broken soul, but I cant let go
And I lose control when Im on my own again