Medicine Bottle

giving into love and sharing my time letting someone into my misery i told it all step by step how i landed on the island and how i swam across the sea and it crosses my mind that i may wake to a knife in me no more breath in my hair or ladies' underwear tossed up over the alarm clock blood dripping from the bed to a neatly written poem a heartfelt last line reading there is no more mystery it it going to happen my love it's all in your head she said morning after nightmare you 're building a wall she said higher than the both of us so try living life instead of hiding in the bedroom show me a smile and i'll promise not to leave you it happened under a rainy cloud passing through the dark south we went into a big house and slept in a small bed i didn't know you then as well as you of me we talked of our sad lives and we went off separately i found your overseas souvenirs holiday greeting cards and some long forgotten high school fears it's all in my head i said banging a piano i've not been so alone i thought since kicking in the womb i drank so much tea i wrote my letters in kanji around the block i walked and walked pretending you were with me not wanting to die out here without you the hurting never ends like birthdays and old friends we forget what is flesh blood and bone is human turning phone lines to airlines unwilling to face the love is found on the inside not the outside and like a medicine bottle in the cabinet i' ll keep you and like a medicine bottle in my hand i will hold you and swallow you slowly as to last me a lifetime without holding too tight i do not wantto lose the thrill that it gives me to look out from my window and scowl at the houses from my world in the bedroom it's all in my head she read in her girlfriend's self-help book it's all his own making a war with himself like two sides of a wall that separates two countries he shuts out the world and wants only to love you not wanting to die out here without you