Oxygin

I know I need to learn to live with all the things I cant change
我明白，就算所有的努力都無濟於事我也得苟活下去
I hate the fact that I feel nothing or Im reeling in pain
我恨自己一無是處，每一天我被痛苦折磨得滿地打滾
I need to shake this ****ing habit, so I try, but I cant
我發誓我會戒掉它，我真的努力了可是沒用啊
And I look down on other addicts when were one and the same
你在我的每一根血管裡洶湧，其他的惡習也蠢蠢欲動
Remember back, Im pushin twenty, those were simpler times
我時常回憶著，在一切都還那麼單純的時候
Thats when we met,
那時我才二十歲出頭，而你卻瞄準了我
And ever since youre never far from my mind
從此我再也擺脫不了你的夢魘
I broke my ankle playin ball, and so its you Im prescribed
我在球場上扭傷了腳踝，醫生說這是你幹的好事
And even through all of the pain, you make me feel I could fly
你讓我痛苦不堪，卻又讓我如陷夢幻
A couple weeks, and now youre gone
一周過後，你代謝出了我的身體
And now Im feelin the stress
可我卻感覺大難臨頭
I always wanted to feel something, maybe nothing is best
我好想努力地活著，雖然我死掉的話對誰都好
My friends and family start to question if Im feelin depressed
朋友和媽媽盤問我是不是精神出了問題
But I dont really give a damn, just put me back on the meds
踏馬的我不想回答你們，把我扔進醫院自生自滅算了吧！
Ive been lost in my head
我的大腦一片空白
My homie Jack said he dealt with the same shit
Jack安慰我說“沒事，我也酗酒”
He said he started drinkin to deal with the pain quick
他說酒精可以瞬解千愁
All you need is a fifth and its cool to remain lit
度數越高越好，人越醉也就越酷
So he handed me a bottle, said, 'Take about eight sips'
說著他把玻璃瓶塞進我懷裡，“再八口！”
Im faded, but I wanna feel straight numb
我分離崩析，卻樂在其中
So I drink the rest of the bottle, liquor burnin my gums
我把剩下的一口悶完，酒精如汽油灼燒我的牙齦
Woke up the next day at around a quarter to one
醒來時新的一天已經過半
My peers would say that 'Man I had fun, right?'
哥們問我，“夠爽，是吧？”
Ive been lyin, Ive been sayin Im fine
對不起，對不起，我其實一直都很不好
But Ive been feeling low and I dont know why
我不知道為什麼我如此失落
Another night, I feel empty inside
無數個空虛的夜晚裡
Down bottle after bottle of whatever I find
我把腳邊的空瓶子悉數打翻
Feel the weight lift off me
天空的重壓彷彿全部在我的肩膀上
Someone tell my mom Im sorry
有人對我媽媽道歉，可是一切都晚了
I dont wanna lie, Ive been losin my mind
講真，我已經認不出我自己了
They tell me 'Take a pill' until I feel alright
他們卻說“磕點藥，一切就好起來了”
The present day been feelin sick,
最近我依然覺得糟糕透頂
Think Im just bidin my time
我知道我在拿我的生命做賭注
I take a shot of somethin strong to keep that shit off my mind
我把一切希望都寄託在藥物上，希望能夠徹底戒掉過往
All my friends started families and they left you behind
我的朋友們成家立業，唯獨我一事無成
And here I am drinkin any can or bottle I find
於是找到一瓶酒，我又撬開了它
My body took you in as blood and so were never apart
你與我的血融為了一體，你就是叮進我骨髓的螞蟥
Some real shit, you the closest someones been to my heart
所有人離我而去，只有你對我不離不棄，真諷刺啊
But just like everything I love, you ****in tear me apart
可是你卻活生生把我撕碎
Just like everything I love, you ****in tear me apart
就像所有我愛的人對我做的那樣
I wanna be there for my son, daughter, wife—
我想抱抱我的兒子，我的女兒，我的妻子. ..
I meanmy ex-wife now
...嗯，雖然她早已不再是我的妻子了
I guess that time really flies when youre drunk on the couch
窩在沙發里噸噸噸時，一切都開始加速
I wanna shake this ****in habit, I just dont know how
我真的想要戒掉啊！可是誰能告訴我到底該怎麼做啊！
So you would love to see me sick until I almost drown
看著我下去，你笑得那麼開心
And so you keep me on the brink of barely livin and death
你讓我離開了你就生不如死
As long as Im alive, yeah, you know youre gettin my cheque
活了這麼久，原來我生命的把柄全握在你手中
You pray my son and daughter will follow me in my steps
你說你想讓我的兒女重蹈我的覆轍
Youll create our loves a fact
那樣我們同樣可以相愛
That Im broke and broken and in debt
我就這樣家破人亡
Can go a day without food, I cant go a day without you
顆米未進也要在你面前苦苦求饒
When I try, I get the shakes til my face turns blue
每天我都在與自己作鬥爭，我全身抽搐面色慘白
Lost my job, wife, life for a bottle of booze
工作，愛情與生活被洶湧的酒水捲走
You promised you would make me happy, we know thats not true
你曾虛偽地對我發誓會讓我快樂
I tried every drug in the book, but they never hit me the same
我找遍了所有書中的解藥，依然收效甚微
I told my doc that Im down, he put some pills in my name
我對醫生說我真的要撐不下去了，醫生依然推給我一瓶藥片
It doesnt matter the problem, the fix is always the same
沒有用，我說了它們真的沒有用
Always takin the easy route,
就像那些人人都懂的大道理
Like Im never willin to change, damn
就像我從來不曾下定決心改變自己:(
Now blamin everybody but me
我總是把責任推卸到別人身上
With you inside my system, everybody used to love me
曾經我還是被人喜歡過的
But now my friends, family, my kids, they cant even trust me
可自從你住進了我的身體後，親友們都不再相信我
Been losin all my control and I let you ****in become me
現在你徹底控制了我的一切
No more! I said no ****in more!
住手啊！從我的身體裡出去啊！
I know you think Im lyin, I said this to you before
你依然不相信，因為你說我戒不掉你
This time Im ****in ready, its time to show you the door
你錯了，這一次我再也不會如此脆弱
This life is mine, it never was yours!
我不會再任由你擺佈了，我要抓住我的生活！
Ive been lyin, Ive been sayin Im fine
日復一日，我都假裝自己挺好的
But Ive been feelin low and I dont know why
可是偽裝真的好累好累
Another night, I feel empty inside
夜晚的空洞該由誰來填補呢
Down bottle after bottle of whatever I find
由這些叮噹作響的玻璃容器嗎
Feel the weight lift off me
我就這樣被踩在腳底
Someone tell my mom Im sorry
聽見一句脆弱的對不起
I dont wanna lie, Ive been losin my mind
有機會我會直接告訴你，我下一秒就要崩潰了
They tell me 'Take a pill' until I feel alright
可他們依然相信，沒有什麼是藥物無法解決的:(