kids (unedited version)

Eminem- The Kids
And everyone should get along..
Okay children quiet down, quiet down
Children Id like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
His name is Mr. Shady
Children quiet down please
Brian dont throw that (Shut UP!)
Mr. Shady will be your new substitute
while Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia (Hes got AIDS!)
Good luck Mr. Shady
Hi there little boys and girls (Fuck you!)
Today were gonna to learn how to poison squirrels
But first, Id like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)
Say hi Bob! ('Hi Bob') Bobs 30 and still lives with his mom
and he dont got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
but his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot
And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot
and wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock
when its late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
Drag em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (AHH!)
And even if they escaped and they got the cops
the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off
But Bob wouldnt knock it off cause hes crazy and off his rocker
Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
You couldnt even take him to Dres to get Bob a 'Dr.'
He grabbed S tace by the legs as chopped it off her
and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
they never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner
And thats the story of Bob and his marijuana,
and what it might do to you
So see if the squirrels want any - its bad for you
See children, drugs are bahhhd (cmon)
and if you dont believe me, ask ya dahhhd ( ask him man)
and if you dont believe him, ask ya mom (thats right)
Shell tell you how she does em all the time (she will)
So kids say no to drugs (thats right )
So you dont act like everyone else does (uh-huh)
Then theres really nothin else to say (sing along)
Drugs are just bad, mmmkay?
My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?
FUCK NO you aint seen it, its the size of a peanut (Huh?)
Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?
Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world
If someone ever offers it to you, dont do it
Kids two hitsll probably drain all your spinal fluid
and spinal fluid is final, you wont get it back
So dont get attached, itll attack every bone in your back
Meet Zach, twenty-one years old
After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
and decides to try five, when hes bribed by five guys
and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it
Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive
and his eyes roll back in his skull {blblblblblb}
His back starts tah - look like the McDonalds Arches
Hes on Donalds carpet, layin horizontal barfin {BLEH}
And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him
'Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!'
cause they took it too, so they think its funny
So theyre laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money
Meanwhile, Zachs in a coma, the action is over
and his back and his shoulders hunched up like hes practicin yoga
And thats the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac
So dont even feed that to squirrels class, cause its bad for you
See children, drugs are bahhhd (cmon)
and if you dont believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)
and if you dont believe him, ask ya mom (thats right)
Shell tell you how she does em all the time (she will)
So kids say no to drugs (thats right)
So you dont act like everyone else does (uh-huh)
Then theres really nothin else to say (sing along)
Drugs are just bad, mmmkay?
And last but not least, one of the most humungous
problems among young people today, is fungus
It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff
And everything slows down when you eat some of em..
And sometimes you see things that arent there (Like what?)
Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair
(Mr. Shady whats a G-string?) Its yarn Claire
Women stick em uptheir behinds, go out and wear em (Huh?)
And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms?
I meant fungus Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cows tongue (How come?)
cause it comes from a cows dung (Gross!!)
See drugs are bad, its a common fact
But your mom and dad, know thats all that Im good at (Oh!)
But dont be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
Theyre gonna come for me and Ima have to grow a goatee
and get a disguise and hide, cause itll be my fault
cause Im bad for you
See children, drugs are bahhhd (cmon)
and if you dont believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)
and if you dont believe him , ask ya mom (thats right)
Shell tell you how she does em all the time (she will)
So kids say no to drugs (thats right)
So you dont act like everyone else does ( uh-huh)
Then theres really nothin else to say (sing along)
Drugs are just bad, mmmkay?
Come on children, clap along (Shut UP!)
Sing along children (Suck my motherfuckin dick!)
Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue me!)
So dont do drugs (Suck my motherfuckin penis!)
so therell be more for me ( Hippie! God damnit!)
(So, fucked up, right now..)