i never knew what i meant to you

Dear old friend
親愛的老朋友
How has everything been
最近過得怎麼樣
Do you still have the memories from back then
你還記得當時的事情嗎
Or has time took them from your head
或者時間使你遺忘了
Why do people leave
為什麼人們離開
Actually why do i seek relief
為什麼我還在
In people who only mistreated me
向那些虐待我的人尋求解脫
Love the sense of dependence and needing me
喜歡依賴和需要我的感覺
I'd give the ones that i love all the blood in my body
我會把我全身上下的血奉獻給那些愛我的人
But never be seen as enough
但他們從來沒有滿足
I used to kick with my clique never trip
我也曾拉幫結派
About a ***** shoving smoke in my lungs
我的肺裡煙霧繚繞
Now they just copy me putting out music
現在他們只是模仿我的音樂
Instead of pursuing the **** that they love
而不是追求他們所愛的
They haven't seen all the sleepless nights
他們沒見過我的一個個不眠之夜
I would stay up or the times i would write as i'd cut
我會熬夜或是拼命寫東西
I still have notebooks with pages and pages
我還有一疊疊的筆記本
Of verses soaked all in my blood
歌句浸透了我的血液
Conversations ii had with myself when no one felt like giving a ****
沒人願意搭理我時我和自己聊
Contemplations i had of just giving everything up
我想就此放棄
One night i grabbed all my razors
一天晚上我拿走了家裡所有的剃須刀
And sat there in silence while holding a gun
持著槍安靜地坐著
Thinking it won't be so silent when everyone hears what i've done
想著當每個人都聽聞我做的事時就沒那麼安靜了
Squeezed the trigger as hard as i could but the bullet was stuck
我使勁扣動扳機，但子彈卡住了
Etched 20 lines in my skin fell asleep and left life up to luck
於是用剃須刀割下20道傷，只顧沉沉睡去，聽天由命
I'm not scared of the dark anymore i'm in love with it
我不再畏懼黑暗，相反我很喜歡
Spentso much time in it i became one with it
在其中待了很久就和它合二為一了
I don't ever wanna see the sun again
我已經不想再見陽光
All i want is to be ****ing dead
只想立即死去
Leave me roses and violets inside of my coffin
只消把玫瑰和紫羅蘭留在棺材裡
A knife and an upsidedown cross with
一把刀和滴血的
Blood dripping off it
向上的十字架
An ounce n some vodka
以及一盎司伏特加
Make sure theres a moshpit
可別忘了
Make sure my mom is
確保我的母親
In the middle getting stomped quick
被這些所困擾
Forall the times she left me n my brother unconscious
她總是把我丟在不省人事的地方
High on drugs coming off it
嗑得很嗨
How has everything been
最近怎麼樣
Do you still have the memories from back then
你還記得當時的事嗎
Or has time took them from your head
或者，你已經忘了