Shouldve Wouldve

Yeah
When Im alone I think about the time we spent together
I fall to pieces when thinking he probably treats you better
Our love was different, so its hard to set the tone
You living out in California
Ive been stuck inside a different weather
I often wonder if you thought that I deserved you
Too late to say it, but you know Id never hurt you
And now I wonder if love is really a virtue
You made me realize that I never really deserved you
You taught me how to love
Now its something I dont believe in
I thought you were the one
But now I struggle through the seasons
How can I be so in love with someone so misleading
And how could you just throw away my heart without a reason
So many things that I should get up off of my chest
I just sit inside my room and reminiscing in my head
Lately I been feeling like my soul has been a mess
And all I really wants for you to love me like Im dead
Yo, last time I saw you was your back turned walking
How many people got a leave fore I see Im the problem
Youll finally find some better guy who isnt shy and awkward
And Ill be here alone cause my fears are unconquered
Tired of people breaking trust and saying that Im not enough
Why am I only okay when Im off the blunt
Feeling like I get my heart broke every single month
Might just give it up, I dont even give a ****
Tired of this feeling, got it every single minute
My mind like a vinyl cause its skipping while its spinning
Popping painkillers but I think I finally get it
Im only killing myself yeah the meds wont fix it
But, thats just the way that I cope
And honestly, Im just wishing that they leave me alone
Lift the pen like a shovel, just wanna die in a hole
Cause these midnight thoughts got me feeling dead and cold