Colored DreamsKillers Pt. 2

[Intro: Reason & Journalist]
Yeah
母親，我就在剛剛結束了一個人的生命，屍體仍在顫抖，您還能感覺到我的雙手嗎？
Mama I just killed a man, body is still tremblin', can you feel my hands?
請別再哭泣了，媽媽.....
Don't shed no tears mama
聽著，我說，“媽媽，我剛殺了一個人。身體還在顫抖，您能感覺到我的雙手嗎？
Look, I said, 'Mama I just killed a man. Body is still tremblin ', can you feel my hands?
請不要在為我流淚了，媽媽......
Don't shed no tears mama
【記者】在密爾沃基少年槍擊案中被定罪的男子將，面終身監禁，直至他80歲時才能被警方釋放
[Interlude: Journalist & Judge]
【警察】嫌疑人迪瑪里奧·德內爾·傑克遜，在一次打鬥中朝人群開槍，擊殺了一名14歲的少年，我們的前方記者正在法庭為您帶來報導
Man convicted in the shooting death of the Milwaukee teenager will be behind walls until he's at least eighty years old
法院將對犯罪嫌疑人宣判終身監禁，服刑於威斯康辛州立監獄56年，並有資格申請延長監禁時限
Police said: DeMario Denell Jackson shot into a crowd during a fight and killed a fourteen year old . Our Jonah Kaplan reports from court
The court on count 1 is going to impose a life sentence in the Wisconsin state prison system with eligibility to apply for extended supervision in 56 years
我可能只是需要在監獄中老實地呆上20年
Yeah
直至法官允許我出獄了
I guess I just gotta chill for twenty years
也許我需要一個逃離這鬼地方的方法
'Til the judge say that it's okay to come out
人們說他們很愛你，但是現在卻無法為我脫身
I need an escape and a way to run out
我可能就在這監獄中度過我的下半生，直至死亡
People say that they love you but you ain't breakin' me out
我好像已經接受了現實，現在我已開始尋找內心平靜
I'll probably die up in this ************, s**t
無數個漫漫長夜，我總是徹夜無眠
I've accepted that and now I'm findin' peace, uh
所以請讓我寫下這封道歉信這封信獻給失去了摯愛的你【指的是被害人的丈夫】
Long nights I've been tryna sleep
聽著，我十分抱歉【這裡的mama指的是被害者的媽媽】
But I can't, so let me writeyou this apology, this for your girl:
我用子彈射穿了他的身體，也傷透了你的心
Look, I'm sorry, mama
我結束了你丈夫的生命，逼迫你與他陰陽相隔
I put a bullet in 'em, I took your heart from you
你們的女兒才剛學會走路，當她會跑時又有誰來抱住她？
I killed your man and now you're forced to be apart from him
我只有19歲，為我的幫派做了太多的喪盡天良的事【指的是美國幫派的兩個顏色：藍與紅，瘸幫與血】
You daughter walkin', who gon' catch her when she start runnin'?
你在法庭上流下了眼淚，我知道你深愛著他
I was only nineteen, doing foolish things for colors
我曾以為我在結束了他的生命後就會成為一個匪幫的大佬
Your tears in the courtroom, I can tell you loved him
但現在我卻在夜晚輾轉反側
I thought I was being gangster when I took his life
如今我終於明白了，去TM的匪幫大佬夢
Now I can barely sleep through a night
如今我終於明白了，希望自己從未加入過這些“睿智”幫派
I get it now, **** these colored dreams, s**t
去TM的匪幫夢
I get it now, **** these colored dreams
去TM的匪幫夢
**** these colored dreams
我也許監獄中就這樣荒廢20年，無所事事
**** these colored dreams, s**t
與其就這樣荒廢，我不如為其餘的被我傷害過的人道歉
I guess I just gotta chill for twenty years
對我親愛的弟弟，我總是說我愛你勝過其他任何人
S**t, might as well apologize for the rest
但如果我是真心地愛你，又怎能指引你走向死亡？
And to my brother I claimed I love you more than the rest
我帶上這沉重的枷鎖時，你才12歲
If I really loved you how come I guided you to your death?
父親不在身旁，你的人生中沒有一個正確的榜樣，似乎只有街頭生活是唯一的選擇【街頭生活基本上就是混幫派了】
You was only twelve when I got locked up
或許我應該讓你放下手中的武器
Pops shook, no role models so the block looks like the only option
但反之，我教會了你如何使用那把武器
Should have made you put them Glocks down
你拿著那把槍，從來就沒有一絲猶豫
But instead I showed you how to get it poppin'
就算那些破事沒發生在你身邊，你也會去自找麻煩
And you took to it, nahyou was never shook to it
你朝著敵對的幫派做出手勢，讓他們知道你無所畏懼，直至你陷入了敵人的包圍
Even if trouble wasn't around, you would look to it
你想讓證明給幫裡的鐵子們看，你會為幫派拋頭顱，灑熱血
Throwin' up set, you let them know you wasn't no ***** 'til you run into multiple crips
你覺得，咱幫裡的老大哥肯定會為我驕傲的
You let them ****** know you'll be down for your ******
我不願相信，這竟然是你離開人間的方式
Thinkin' in your head, 'Big bro' will be proud of a *****'
更糟的是，我竟然無法去參加你的葬禮
I hate to have to be the way for you to go
去TM的匪幫夢
What's even worse, I couldn't make it to your funeral
去TM的匪幫夢
**** them colored dreams
去TM的匪幫夢
S**t, **** these colored dreams
聽著媽媽，我知道我結束了他的生命
**** them colored dreams
我依然清晰記的，您當時緊握著我顫抖著的手
Look, mama, I know I killed that man
請不要再為我掉眼淚了，媽媽.....
Still remember tremblin' when you felt my hand
我明白我在未來可能很多年都不會回家了
Don't shed no tears mama, uh
我知道你覺得你在你的同齡人中是一個失敗者，媽媽
I know I won't be home for years, mama
但在我心中，您一直是上天的恩賜
I know you feel like a failure to all your peers, mama
但對於您來說我從出生對您來說就是一場詛咒，總是讓生活變得更加糟糕
You been a blessing to me
就算此時此刻他們放我出來，我也不敢去找您
I been a curse since birth to you, made s**t worse for you
幹，這只會讓我更加的難受
They let me out this second, I wouldn't even search for ya
您願意為我付出一切，對我無比的關心
S**t, it only make it harder
我收到了您的來信，我不敢相信您竟然仍然愛著我
You care so much that you would kill for me
您說您每晚都在為我祈禱，您跟我感同身受
I get your letters and I wonder how you still love me
如果有可能的話，我知道您會為願意替我承受這牢獄之災
You say you pray every night and you still feel for me
自從我上次與您聊天后，您最近還好嗎
S**t and if you could I know you probablywould do this bit for me, s**t
我希望您知道，我仍然愛著您
So what's it been the last time I speak to you
這是在過於瘋狂了，我們有著相同的DNA
I want you to know I love you with everything in me
但是境遇卻截然相反
It's insane to me, you share DNA with me
我知道我讓您失望了，真心希望我能是您心中的驕傲
We polar opposites
現在我站在這椅子上，寫下這封信
I know I failed you mama, wish I could be your accomplishment
繩結圍繞著我的脖子，事已至此我唯一的、最好的選擇就是離您而去
So as I stand on this chair writing this letter
人世間各種紛擾，已讓你經歷無數的磨難
Noose around my neck, the only way I do better is if I leave you now
您給了我一切，我卻無法報答您，現在我終於明白了
'Cause you been beaten down from them other things
去TM的.....
I ain't give you s**t a mother brings, I get it now
**** these--
*Choking*