Rap God

Look, I was gonna go easy on you not to hurt your feelings
But Im only going to get this one chance (six minutes-, six minutes-)
Somethings wrong, I can feel it (six minutes, Slim Shady, youre on!)
Just a feeling Ive got, like somethings about to happen, but I dont know what
If that means what I think it means, were in trouble, big trouble
And if he is as bananas as you say, Im not taking any chances
You are just what the doc ordered
Im beginnin to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
Now, who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box?
They said I rap like a robot, so call me Rap-bot
But for me to rap like a computer, it must be in my genes
I got a laptop in my back pocket
My penll go off when I half-cock it
Got a fat knot from that rap profit
Made a livin and a killin off it
Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office
With Monica Lewinsky feelin on his nutsack
Im an MC still as honest
But as rude and as indecent as all hell
Syllables, skill -a-holic (kill em all with)
This flippity dippity-hippity hip-hop
You dont really wanna get into a pissin match
With this rappity brat, packin a MAC in the back of the Ac
Backpack rap crap, yap-yap, yackety-yack
And at the exact same time, I attempt these lyrical acrobat stunts while Im practicin that
Ill still be able to break a motherfuckin table
Over theback of a couple of faggots and crack it in half
Only realized it was ironic, I was signed to Aftermath after the fact
How could I not blow? All I do is drop F-bombs
Feel my wrath of attack
Rappers are havin a rough time period, heres a maxi pad
Its actually disastrously bad for the wack
While Im masterfully constructing this masterpièce
Cause Im beginnin to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
Now, who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box?
Let me show you maintainin this shit aint that hard , that hard
Everybody want the key and the secret to rap immortality like Ι have got
Well, to be truthful the blueprints
Simply rage and youthful exuberance
Everybody loves to root for a nuisance
Hit the Earth like an asteroid
Did nothing but shoot for the Moon since (pew!)
MCs get taken to school with this music
Cause I use it as a vehicle to 'Bus the rhyme'
Now I lead a new school full of students
Me? Im a product of Rakim
Lakim Shabazz, 2Pac, N.W.A, Cube, hey Doc, Ren
Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim
Inspired enough to one day grow up, blow up and be in a position
To meet Run-D.M.C., induct them
Into the motherfuckin Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
Even though Ill walk in the church and burst in a ball of flames
Only Hall of Fame Ill be inducted in is the alcohol of fame
On the wall of shame
You fags think its all a game, til I walka flock of flames
Off a plank and, tell me what in the fuck are you thinkin?
Little gay-lookin boy
So gay, I can barely say it with a straight face, lookin boy (ha -ha!)
Youre witnessin a mass-occur
Like youre watching a church gathering take place, lookin boy
'Oy vey, that boys gay!' Thats all they say, lookin boy
You get a thumbs up, pat on the back
And a 'Way to go' from your label every day, lookin boy
Hey, lookin boy! What you say, lookin boy?
I get a 'Hell , yeah' from Dre, lookin boy
Ima work for everything I have, never asked nobody for shit
Get outta my face, lookin boy!
Basically, boy, youre never gonna be capable
Of keepin up with the same pace, lookin boy, cause-
Im beginnin to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
The way Im racin around the track, call me NASCAR, NASCAR
Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park, the White Trash God
Kneel before General Zod
This planets Krypton-, no, Asgard, Asgard
So youll be Thor and Ill be Odin
You rodent, Im omnipotent
Let off, then Im reloadin
Immediately with these bombs Im totin
And I should not be woken
Im the walkin dead, but Im just a talkin head, a zombie floatin
But I got your mom deep-throatin
Im out my Ramen Noodle
We have nothin in common, poodle
I'm a Doberman, pinch yourself in the arm and pay homage, pupil
Its me, my honestys brutal
But its honestly futile if I dont utilize what I do though
For good at least once in a while
So I wanna make sure somewhere in this chicken scratch I scribble and doodle enough rhymes
To maybe try to help get some people through tough times
But I gotta keep a few punchlines
Just in case cause even you unsigned
Rappers are hungry lookin at me like its lunchtime
I know there was a time where once I
Was king of the underground
But I still rap like Im on my Pharoahe Monch grind
So I crunch rhymes, but sometimes when you combine
Appeal with the skin color of mine
You get too big and here they come tryin
To censor you like that one line
I said on ' Im Back' from The Mathers LP 1 when I
Tried to say Ill take seven kids from Columbine
Put em all in a line, add an AK-47, a revolver and a .9
See if I get away with it now that I aint as big as I was, but Im
Morphin into an immortal, comin through the portal
Youre stuck in a time warp from 2004 though
And I dont know what the fuck that you rhyme for
Youre pointless as Rapunzel with fuckin cornrows
You write normal? Fuck being normal!
And I just bought a new raygun from the future
Just to come and shoot ya, like when Fabolous made Ray J mad
Cause Fab said he looked like a fag at Mayweathers pad
Singin to a man while he played piano
Man, oh man, that was a 24-7 special on the cable channel
So Ray J went straight to the radio station
The very next day, 'Hey Fab, Ima kill you!'
Lyrics comin at you at supersonic speed (J.J. Fad)
Uh, summa-lumma, dooma-lumma, you assumin Im a human
What I gotta do to get it through to you Im superhuman?
Innovative and Im made of rubber so that anything
You say is ricochetin off of me, and itll glue to you and
Im devastating, more than ever demonstrating
How to give a motherfuckin audience a feeling like its levitating
Never fading, and I know the haters are forever waiting
For the day that they can say I fell off, theyll be celebrating
Cause I know the way to get em motivated
I make elevating music, you make elevator music
'Oh, hes too mainstream'
Well, thats what they do when they get jealous, they confuse it
'Its not hip-hop, its pop,' cause I found a hella way to fuse it
With rock, shock rap with Doc
Throw on 'Lose Yourself' and make em lose it
I dont know how to make songs like that
I dont know what words to use
Let me know when it occurs to you
While Im rippin any one of these verses that versus you
Its curtains, Im inadvertently hurtin you
How many verses I gotta murder to
Prove that if you were half as nice, your songs you could sacrifice virgins too?
Ugh, school flunky, pill junkie
But look at the accolades these skills brung me
Full of myself, but still hungry
I bully myself cause I make me do what I put my mind to
And Im a million leagues above you
Ill when I speak in tongues, but its still tongue-in-cheek, fuck you
Im drunk, so, Satan, take the fucking wheel
Ima sleep in the front seat
Bumpin Heavy D and the Boyz, still 'Chunky but Funky'
But in my head, theres something I can feel tugging and struggling
Angels fight with devils and heres what they want from me
Theyre askin me to eliminate some of the women hate
But if you take into consideration the bitter hatred
I have, then you may be a little patient
And more sympathetic to the situation
And understand the discrimination
But fuck it, lifes handin you lemons? Make lemonade then!
But if I cant batter the women
How the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then?
Dont mistake him for Satan; its a fatal mistake
If you think I need to be overseas and take a vacation
To trip a broad, and make her fall on her face and
Dont be a retard, be a king? Think not
Why be a king when you can be a god?