A Gothic love song (for N.)

I'm clicking your fingers, for a gothic twilight,
我與你指指相扣,在一個歌特式的黃昏中
that actually existed just in your head
那真的存在在你的腦海中
your fingernails painted black
你的指甲塗成了黑色
or bloodred
還是鮮紅色
I forget
我已不記得
And your fake- leather volumes
而你那用人造皮革裝訂的書卷
jabbering on hell
荒唐地描寫著地獄
manifest decadence was what you hoped to exhail
你希望散發出那種顯而易見的頹廢
your eyes tried so hard to glitter
你的雙眼極力閃爍著冰冷的光芒
A star-snuffing black
在這樣一個星光閃耀的夜晚
so you opened your books
你打開了你的書
and you opened your legs
你打開了你的雙腿
and so opened your heart
同樣打開了你的心
and let in the badness
引入了這邪惡
you claimed
你說的就像是
as your friend
你的朋友一樣
with un-angels hovering
飛舞著的並非天使
like flies round the orchard
而是如同果園中的蒼蠅一般
that had covered your soul
遮蔽住了你的靈魂
their empire increasing
它們的勢力在擴張
and your country
而你的領土
deserted by yourself
已被你自己毀滅
The bells of St. Mary call us to remember
聖瑪麗的鈴聲喚醒了我們的回憶
that life is with end
生命終有盡頭
and the gestures can kill us
而這樣的行為會害死我們
moreover destroy
甚至毀掉我們
and there is one jugdement only
而且只會有這一種報應
Your letters came daily
你的信
in French or in German
每天都從法國或德國寄來
but they meant to me nothing
但它們對我毫無意義
I caught the slow cords
我突然發現是冷漠的情緒
and dry ice fogging your mind
與乾冰的煙霧遮蔽著你的思想
I see all too clearly now
現在我已將你看得一清二楚
why you could be discarded
你為何會被拋棄
and though I could pray for you
儘管我會為你祈禱，
I probably shan`t
或許，我不會
having had my cup filled up
我的生命
with your lies
已被你的謊言
and your makeup
與偽裝所填滿
you were nothing
你什麼都不是
thinking you`re something
你只是某個人而已
And nonetheless I still write this gothic lovesong
儘管如此，我仍然寫下這首歌特式的情歌
a sign to myself
為我自己
and the memory of my past
與曾經的回憶寫下的一個標記
I still write this gothic lovesong
我仍然寫下這首歌特式的情歌
a sign to myself
寫下一個標記
and the memory of my past
為曾經的回憶
and a way to shut out your face
也是忘記你的面容的一種方式