xiphinema

“也許是因為我潛意識裡認為自己不不值得。”
'Maybe its that I believe that subconsciously Im not worthy.'
“或者值得快樂。”
'Or deserving of being happy.'
“但是我已經不想再在這裡很長一段時間了。”
'But, for a long time Ive not wanted to be here.'
“我也無能為力，我得快點離開這裡。”
'And theres nothing that I can do, to leave here faster.'
“我不能自殺，我不能。”
'I cant kill myself, I cant.'
“不是我不想。”
'Its not that I dont want to.'
“是我認為我不能自殺。”
'Its that I think that I cannot kill myself.'
“我試過多次，無數次。”
'Ive tried multiple times, numerous times.'
“我不能死，我tm不會死。”
'And I cannot die, I wont fxcking die.'
“有些人認為，我活著就是為了死去，我想死。”
'Some of me thinks, I live to die, and I want to die.'
“因為我想讓痛苦休止。”
'Because I want the pain to stop.'
“藥物沒有絲毫幫助。”
'The medication doesnt help.'
“精神科醫生和治療師，他們也幫不了什麼忙。”
'The psychiatrists and therapists, they dont help.'
“都沒用。”
'None of it helps.'
“都沒用。”
'None of it helps.'