masochist

This is a place I know too well
Been down here a while if you cant tell
And I have analysed and tried my best to justify
The sorrow I have brought upon myself
Am I addicted to the misery? Is this how Ill always be?
Grinding the salt into every wound
Am I in love with all my ailments, glutton for punishment?
You cant trust me to be there for you
I thought I had this, I thought I had this all figured out
Youd think Id learned from all the shit I ****ing screamed about
When there was sun, I couldnt see for the clouds
Still climbing the walls of this well just to dive back down
Until I reached my rock bottom
Down to the marrow, bringing up the bad blood Id forgotten
Is it me thats making me sick?
Been burning both ends of the wick
Am I addicted to the misery? Is this how Ill always be?
Grinding the salt into every wound
Am I in love with all my ailments, glutton for punishment?
You cant trust me to be there for you
Ive got this cold black silhouette hanging like a marionette
Casting a shadow, a shade over me
Just a sick, sad, sorry mess, living like a masochist
Your worst impressions were right about me
Your worst impressions were right about me
Your worst impressions were right
I could ask you to stay if youre feeling forgiving
I could live with the guilt if you call this living
I could try to memorise each grain of sand
As it slips through my fingers and falls from my hands
It took me longer than Id care to admit
This life is only what I choose to make of it
And the only thing standing in between happiness and myself
Was this depression I held so close to my chest
Am I addicted to the misery ? Is this how Ill always be?
Grinding the salt into every wound
Am I in love with all my ailments, glutton for punishment?
You cant trust me to be there for you
Ive got this cold black silhouette hanging like a marionette
Casting a shadow, a shade over me
Just a sick, sad, sorry mess, living like a masochist
Your worst impressions were right about me
Wasting a waning youth
Waiting for something to help me pull through
I never saw the sun through the clouds
I lost faith when the skies were falling down