masochist

Masochist （虐狂）-Tonedeff
Everything happens for a reason
And my reason to bes to see sh*t happen for a reason
One event to the
Next
Its like Im stuck at the box office with every second my clock tosses
Into my face smacked with a case of fate wasted and lost causes
Ive been mocked and accosted
To the point that I got nauseous
Though my flows been plugged enough to stop faucets
Ive thought often about tossing this awesome gift to the wind
And start crossing over to
Sin with this intention to blend that
I get from
Within
Ive protected my skin with a thin
Layer of pride and showmanship
But both my coats are ripped and
I cant seem to decide on clothes that fit
Supposing this rap sh*t actually pays off
Im wondering if itll all be
Worth it
Cause this is what everyone in my life has ever been hurt with
This curse this evil urge
I feel for verses
Is one of my lifes real perversions
I seal my curtains when I write
I feel disturbance from the light
I deal with dirt and yet
I want to heal the earth and peel the surface to
Reveal its perfect
And words I wield with purpose
And yet nobody follows the plot
They rather hear me rock off of the top
Theres pitfalls in my socks
So I walk with caution
Somebody halt the auction
Cause my souls on sale
And I thought I lost it
If I gotta fight for the rest of my life
Then Im gonturn the other cheek
Yeah
Cause I hate the way you hurt me
But I cant get enough of your love
Love
And who the hell am I supposed to be
A holy priest holding a rosary
Some type of bold stoic Moses of poetry
Should I be holding heat to pose for the streets
A total phoney If I said my name was
Tonywould you know its me
Supposedly T-O-N-E flow with ease over these bolder beats
But the flows too cheap to pay for groceries
And in the throws of grief I choke and breathe
Loaded with my parents hopes and dreams
Yet I dont know if we both
Believe
I scope the scene and
Im watching these bills build up
Im nice with a day-job these niggaz write
All day and still suck
And yet they fill clubs
Sell a trillion and feel
I kill dubs
But I dont have the mills to pay for real pub
My chilled love melts on occasion
Cause brainwashed niggaz only feelin
My track if Clue or Flex will play it
Who you expect to say this sh*t if I dont
What Cause I dont wanna be extorted
By some cat who lets cash determine
His playlists
Im searching for ways in
But entrances are sparse when youre hard to
Market
F**k art cause thugs arent the smartest targets
And Im not abstract enough
So it seems backpackers are acting up
And I thought it was half the battle
Just to have the love
And pack a truckload of skills
Politics are Ill and yo its real
It seems Im cruising
And theyre still using these crooked stones for
Wheels
And whenyou know the deal
It doesnt evoke the most appeal
Like stolen Kosher Meals
Lemme propose a toast to heal
If I gotta fight for the rest of my life
Then Im gonturn the other cheek
Yeah
Cause I hate the way you hurt me
But I cant get enough of your love
If I gotta fight for the rest of my life
Then Im gonturn the other cheek
Yeah
Cause I hate the way you hurt me
But I cant get enough of your love
Ive sacrificed so many facets of life just to achieve this
From Love and definitive reason to trust in agreements
My family suffered a grievance when we discussed I was leaving
Seeming substituted for tunnel vision
And it probably crushed all their
Feelings
Theres something appeasing in the corruption of demons
Feeding me vehemently lustful delusions of bucks from succeeding
But times up months its exceeded
Peeling the scabs off of cuts that are bleeding
Knowing I aint had it as tough as Jesus
This sh*t doesnt compete or even touches what he did
But will I be signed by 33
Cause my teens were f**king depleted
Blessed with a gift
Equipped to assist in the destruction of heathens
But please would god really want me snuffing emcees then
Ha
I must be conceited right
Well Im balanced out by the lack of self-esteem
Ive felt since Ive learned how to read and write
Over compensation spelled relief
When the rhyme schemes are tight
Then I feel the weight of a cheapened life
When 5000people die
Sob Sob Feel bad for the rap artist
But pour your soul into something for responses
Thats half-hearted
Terminate relationships on the basis of past hardships
And then youll see
Why every reviews like another line on my scarred
Wrist
This light-hearted voice becomes jailed by the darkness
Its impossible to trap my lips when I have to spit
I try to swim away
But I keep getting dragged back in this
Come to find my arms automatically swimming backwards
If I gotta fight for the rest of my life
Then Im gonturn the other cheek
Yeah
Cause I hate the way you hurt me
But I cant get enough of your love
If I gotta fight for the rest of my life
Then Im gonturn the other cheek
Yeah
Cause I hate the way you hurt me
But I cant get enough of your love
If I gotta fight for the rest of my life
Then Im gonturn the other cheek
Yeah
Cause I hate the way you hurt me
But I cant get enough of your love