pizza man

(Italian accent makes him sound like hes swearing when hes not)
Onna day Imma going to Malta to bigga hotel
In the morning I go downa to eat breakfast,
I tell the waitress I want to pieces of toast,
She brings me only one piece,
I tell her I want to piece,
She sais: 'go to the toilet',
I say: 'you nounderstand',
I wanna piece on my plate,
she says: 'you better not piss on your plate you son of a *****',
I dont even know the lady and she calls me a son of a * ****
I dont need this *****t!!
Later, I go to eata at the bigga restaurant,
the waitress brings me a spoon and a knive,
but no fork,
I tell her i wanted a fork,
she tella me everyone wanna ****,
i tell: 'you dont understand,
I wanna fork on my table',
she says: 'you better not xxxx on the table you son of a *****',
I dont even know the lady and she calls me a son of a *****
I dont need this *****t!
So I go back to my room in a hotel,
and there are no sheets on the bed,
call the manager and telling him I wanna a sheet,
he tella me go to the toilet,
I say: 'you dont understand,
I wanna sheet on my bed',
he says: 'you better not xxxx on my bed you son of a *****',
I go to the checkout and the man at the desk says peace on you,
I say piss on you too you son of a *****, Im going back to Italia, ariva derchi
I dont need this *****t!