Free Will And Testament

Given free will but within certain limitations,
自由意願但存在著某種制約
I cannot will myself to limitless mutations,
我不能使自己無限止的轉化
I cannot know what I would be if I were not me,
我無法知道如果我不是我，我會是什麼
I can only guess me.
我只能去揣度
So when I say that I know me , how can I know that?
所以當我說了解自己的時候，我又怎能確定
What kind of spider understands arachnophobia?
就像沒有一隻蜘蛛可以體會蜘蛛恐懼症
I have my senses and my sense of having senses.
我的那些感官，它們又都有自己的感受
Do I guide them? Or they me?
是我引領它們？或是它們在引領我
The weight of dust exceeds the weight of settled objects.
塵埃與固定物體的重量沒有本質的區別
What can it mean, such gravity without a centre?
是否意味著重力並沒有中點
Is there freedom to un-be?
是否存在“不存在”的自由
Is there freedom from will-to-be?
是否存在“想要成為”的自由
Sheer momentum makes us act this way or that way.
根本的動力使我們表現得如此或那般
We just invent or just assume a motivation.
是我們虛構或假設出了這種動機
I would disperse, be disconnected. Is this possible?
我想要使自己分散支離，這可以實現嗎
What are soldiers without a foe?
沒有敵手的戰士是什麼
Be in the air, but not be air, be in the no air.
在空氣中，但不要成為空氣，存在於真空中
Be on the loose, neither compacted nor suspended.
恍惚自在，既不和合亦不被牽制
Neither born nor left to die.
既不降生亦不等待消亡
Had I been free, I could have chosen not to be me.
如果我是自主的，我不會選擇成為我
Demented forces push me madly round a treadmill.
這些嘈雜的想法令我無法停歇
Demented forces push me madly round a treadmill.
這些嘈雜的想法令我無法停歇
Let me off please, I am so tired.
讓我睡會兒吧，我挺困的
Let me off please, I am so very tired.
讓我睡會兒吧，我真的好睏啊（來自邊遠的公眾號