last night

Im still frustrated from last night
Things happened at half-time, Im sick of the bends
My panic research was no help
I sink into myself
Afraid of the fall that never ends
I wait, but Im too tired to play pretend
I suffocate until the end
No time for halfhearted goodbyes,
I turn on the spotlight and flee from the scene
Cheap flights from Paris to Bangkok, I thought it was nonstop
Cant sleep on the KLM again
I haunt the halls of medicine at night
Choking back the urge to fight
Her cat was clawing the floorboards just outside of our door,
The panic begins
I searched the whole damn apartment from ceiling to carpet
No sign of the things she used to own
As autumn turns its back on me again
I climb the walls for oxygen
My body aches, it heaves, it shakes
Our somersaults through so-called art
And I still dont know exactly who I am
I never will, amen.
She whispers something in my ear, the message is unclear
She motions outside.
I trail her closely from behind
She tries hard not to cry
She shakes underneath the pouring rain
I cant compete with all your damn ideas
This isnt working out for you and me
The truth is Im too tired to play pretend
This is goodbye, this is the end.