indifferent ways

I can see it in your eyes girl
That youre in the mood for love
So I light some candles, pour some wine
Come sit down on the rug
But theres something I must tell you, babe
Before we take this step
Something about me girl
That you do not know yet
I have no *****
It was torn off
In a bicycle accident
In nineteen ninety nine
I also lost one testicle
So all I have is a weird uni-ball
And a rubber tube, between my legs
But babe, I can love you in different ways
Ill make love to you with the rubber tube
That I use for urinating
Ill just tape two Popsicle sticks around it
Make it easier for penetrating
And having only one ball
Isnt always a bad thing
Its like a pool ball in a pillow case
Its like a cherry on a sundae

I have no *****
I have no cock
If it looks like I have a ball
Just cause I stuff it with a sock
Girl, I know that youre afraid
But I promise, baby, if you stay
Ill put a cucumber in the microwave
And babe, I will love you in different...
...ways
Just because I dont have a cock
it doesnt mean I cant rock
Just because I dont have a cock
it doesnt mean I cant rock
Just because I dont have a cock
it doesnt mean I cant rock
Dont be fooled by my lack of a cock
Im still Johny from the block
O-o-oh yeah