Secret Touch

As I write this I must pretend someones holding my hand
提筆時我必須想像有人握住我的手
Probably someone dead
或許只有某個已死去的人
(Would be the only one to hold me now, ice cold)
才能在此刻用冰冷的身體貼近我
I was waiting, forbidden
我曾陷入未被允許的等待
No one knew I was waiting , not even you
我的期許無人知曉連你也不曾了解
I was not speaking
我一語不發
You were travelling
你四處漂泊
And you came to me as if someone just died
你來到我面前彷彿有人剛剛逝去
Consolidation, but violently felt
堅不可摧的同謀近乎暴力的共鳴
Like kissing through the glass window
就像隔著玻璃窗親吻著
Passion separated by space legal, like money
狂熱被律法的空間割開
(Is a space of freedom)
金錢劃出了自由的界限
Free!
自由！
Free!
自由！
Consolidation when its an excuse
穩固的同盟只是我們的藉口
As if someone had just died
彷彿剛剛失去了某個人
Condolences, when silences rise in public places
哀悼只是在城市上方升起的靜默
And any gathering becomes a cathedral
所有聚集的人群變成一座座教堂
For a short moment in time
曾有短暫的一瞬
I let you wipe out my facial features
我允許你抹消我的面容
But flesh is the loneliest creature
但模糊的血肉就是最孤獨的生物
And its suddenly silenced
而它卻被突兀地噤聲
By the most unlawful act of infinity
被不斷上演的最狂妄的舉動掐住
Infidelity
背叛！
When I on a whim followed her suddenly into that room
當我被竄起的慾念沖昏頭腦尾隨她進入那個房間
And kissed like blood intinction to avoid thinking of death
像血的浸禮一樣神聖又貪婪地接吻只是為了逃避死亡的念頭
Death!
死亡！
Death!
死亡！
Exchanging one drive for another drive
用一種旅程交換另一種旅程
There comes a certain point in our lives when we more or less
我們或多或少在人生的某個節點
Desperately want to be bad
焦灼地渴盼墮落
And we gladlyexchange the good things
我們自願交出美好的事物
Just to for a short moment feel alive
只是為了短暫的一刻能夠活著
I can tell you that Ive never felt so alive
我從未如此強烈地感受到生命
As when you embraced me
像你擁抱我時那樣
You were travelling
你卻奔波不停
And you came to me as if someone had just died
然後你來到我面前彷彿有人剛剛逝去
Consolidation of violence
堅不可摧的同謀以暴力為名
As if already
就好像什麼事已經.. .
It did not, and later we regret it
但什麼都沒發生之後我們為此懊悔
Because we have no language to express that it was both
因為我們無法用言語表述那是一種混合的感受
Ravishing, ravishing
令人陶醉令人狂喜
Destructive, and most of all, most of all:
同時又是毀滅性的最重要的最重要的是
Absolutely necessary
絕對不可或缺！
These things! To feel alive
這些體驗！為了活著
Free!
自由！
To die, to die!
走向死！走向死！
Free!
自由！
In whoevers innocent arms
在隨便哪個人無罪的懷抱裡