What If...

When I was “younger”
I thought of caring
As a reason for some to praise me, in envy
“So humble and kind”
“No better person”
Now that I 'm “older” I've seen what I've been
Ruthless, ungrateful, always trying to turn up tracks
Be it about me or you
Seeking out the faithful in me
With tricks of trust and gluttony
I won't wait for anyone anymore
When I was younger I thought of deep space
Pick me up swiftly, carry me away
Drop me off willing--light years lone gone
Never again seeing those who I loved
It's not about me this time, there I go lying again
Please save my soul
I don't know what I'm doing anymore
Seeking out the faithful in me with singles and a pen
Is it possible I'm overthinking this
It's not what I'm not it's what I believe in
It's not what I've got, it's my peace of mind
Too early to see if I'm still in the past
Too hopeful to be wasted time
It's not what I'm not it's what I believe in
It's not what I' ve got, it's my peace of mind
Too early to see if I'll be
Seeking out the fraud in me
With compassion and honesty, I'll wait….