Death of the Space Wizard

Melanin melancholy, my black skin dished me a deeper tragedy,
I can't breathe my lungs tight, it keep reminding me that I could die at any moment, I'm a victim, of a man made decision. I wasn't there to hear the Doctor tell my parents this is.. not gonna end well for instance resistance is just futile in this world anyway , it's just gonna get you any day, I feel hopeless, it's like my minds soaked in a black hole where the devil dishes omens
I'm winning when I'm fighting these drug habits, though I been a high functioning drug addict. Still I make the smile available when wall crashes, 4 around me my world remains a dull palace, cuz my imagination takes me out this box, I still cry at times for being dependent on the drugs, and my mum keep telling me that everything is God, then why He make me like this, why He give me this, why am I so capable but can't even resist, my body shuts down each every other day, why I still walk in pain even though I pray, and now I'm faced with these cross roads, choose Spiritual or choose the cold, I now before the Throne, tears creep down my eyes it's harder not to show. So many days of suffering it's harder not to woe, soon it's my time to go, I wouldn't change the pain cuz the pain gave me hope, loneliness gave me rope, I could have tied it round my neck but I didn't though, I threw it up to Heaven and now I need go,
Climb.