Kids

Okay children quiet down, quiet down
好了孩子们安静下来
Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
孩子们这是我们今天的代课老师
His name is Mr. Shady
他就是Shady老师
Children quiet down please
请大家安静
Brian don't throw that （SHUT UP!）Brian
Brian 别扔了（闭嘴） Brian
Mr. Shady will be your new substituteShady
shady老师是你们新的代课老师
Good luck Mr. ShadyShady
祝您好运shady老师
Hi there little boys and girls （FUCK YOU!）
同学们大家好（大爷的）
Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels
今天我们要学的是 怎么毒松鼠
But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob （Huh?）
不过开始之前我们先来认识一下我的朋友Bob（呵？）
Say hi Bob! （"Hi Bob"） Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom
说大家好 Bob！（大家好Bob） Bob30岁了还和他妈妈住在一起
and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
他没有工作，因为他每天都躺家里拔大麻
but his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot
但是他12岁的弟弟很崇拜他
And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spotBob
Bob喜欢到当地的卖华夫饼的地方玩 Bob
and wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock
然后经常在停车场等女服务员下班
when it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
等天黑了他就假装在遛狗
Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks （AHH!）
然后把她们拉到树林里的空地
And even if they escaped and they got the cops
即使她们逃跑了遇到警察
the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
她们还是很害怕不敢报警
'til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
直到有一天Stacey女士下班后
when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
有人蒙住她的脸说：不要讲话
But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off
但是Stacey知道是Bob， 说：赶紧放手
But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker
但是Bob没有停下，因为他已经疯了
Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
比slim shady喝了伏特加还疯狂
You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr."
你甚至应该带他去Dre那里看医生 // Dr.Dre
He grabbed S tace' by the legs as chopped it off her
他抓住Stacey的腿就像把它砍下来了。。。
and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
最后把她扔到湖里好让警察发现她
But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
但是自从那天Stacey出去散步后
they never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner
他们再也没有找到她，而Bob仍然在华夫饼店附近飘
And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana,
这就是Bob和他的大麻的故事
and what it might do to you
所以想想毒品对你们有什么危害
So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you
那么再想象小松鼠想不想尝试一点呢- -毒品对你们有害
See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon）
所以同学们，毒品是有害的（拜托）
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man）
如果你们不相信我，可以去问你们老爹（去问）
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right）
如果不信你爸爸可以去问你妈（是啊）
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will）
她会告诉你们她是怎么看待毒品的（她会的）
So kids say no to drugs （that's right）
孩子们 让我们对毒品说不（说得对）
So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh）
所以你们不能学那些人一样
Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along）
那今天我想讲的已经讲完了
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
反正毒品有害，知道了吗？
My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?
我的XX和花生一样大，你们看到了吗
FUCK NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut （Huh?）
卧槽，没看到，和花生一样大
Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?
说道花生，你们知道还有什么对小松鼠有害吗？
Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world
摇头丸是世界上最糟的毒品
If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it
如果有人给你，千万别尝试
Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid
两颗就叫你们筋脉逆流，走火入魔
and spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back
最后会血管爆裂而死
So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back
所以碰都不能碰，否则会全身经脉爆炸而死
Meet Zach, twenty-one years old
这是zach，21岁
After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
自从上次和几个朋友在一个聚会上尝试后，他上瘾了
and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys
在几个人的怂恿下，于是他决定一次来5颗，
and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it
在同伴的压力下你很难拒绝
Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive
于是他开始经脉逆流
and his eyes roll back in his skull {blblblblblb}
眼球都凹陷下去
His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches
后背变得就像麦当劳的标志一样弯
He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal barfin {BLEH}他在Donald的地毯上，
他平躺在Donald的地毯上，不停的呕吐
And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him
所有人都在嘲笑他
"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!"
hey Adam，你看，zach就是个傻×
cause they took it too, so they think it's funny
因为他们也吃了摇头丸，还认为很好玩
So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money
所以他们只会笑他纯粹是在浪费钱
Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over
此时zach已经神志不清，一切都结束了
and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga
他的背和肩卷得看起来就像是在练瑜伽
And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac
这就是摇头丸疯子zach的故事
So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you
所以同学们别拿摇头丸喂松鼠，因为它对你们有害
See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon）
所以同学们，毒品是有害的（拜托）
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man）
如果你们不相信我，可以去问你们老爹（去问）
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right）
如果不信你爸爸可以去问你妈（是啊）
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will）
她会告诉你们她是怎么看待毒品的（她会的）
So kids say no to drugs （that's right）
孩子们 让我们对毒品说不（说得对）
So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh）
所以你们不能学那些人一样
Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along）
那今天我想讲的已经讲完了
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
反正毒品有害，知道了吗？
And last but not least, one of the most humungous
最后在年轻人中的最大的问题
problems among young people today, is fungus
就是菌类
It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
它在牛屎中生长,他们把摘起来擦干净
bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
包起来，然后你们把它直接放嘴里嚼
Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff
mmm,然后你就会看到很逗（比）的事情
And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em..
当你吃了它们之后，所有东西都慢了下来
And sometimes you see things that aren't there （Like what?）
有的时候会出现幻觉（比如？）
Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair
比如穿着丁字裤的红头发胖女人
（Mr. Shady what's a G-string?） It's yarn Claire（Mr. Shady
（shady老师什么是丁字裤），就是一根线，Claire
Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em （Huh?）
女人们把它拴自己的屁股后面，穿着它们出门
And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
如果你吃了太多魔菇
Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms?
,我说了魔菇了吗？
I meant fungus Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue （How come?）
我是说菌类，你的舌头就会肿得像牛的舌头一样大（怎么会）
cause it comes from a cow's dung （Gross!!）
因为它是从牛屎里长出来的（靠）
See drugs are bad, it's a common fact
所以 珍爱生命 远离毒品
But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at （Oh!）
但是你们的父母都知道我只会吸毒
But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
不过别学我，因为你们长大后你们 (会往不好方向发展---我猜的)（wtf is OD?）
They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
他们会来找我麻烦，我只能留着山羊胡子
and get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault
然后改头换面躲起来，因为那都是我的错
So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't,
所以一定不要吸毒,千万不要学我
cause I'm bad for you
因为我不是你们的好榜样
See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon）
所以同学们，毒品是有害的（拜托）
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man）
如果你们不相信我，可以去问你们老爹（去问）
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right）
如果不信你爸爸可以去问你妈（是啊）
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will）
她会告诉你们她是怎么看待毒品的（她会的）
So kids say no to drugs （that's right）
孩子们 让我们对毒品说不（说得对）
So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh）
所以你们不能学那些人一样
Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along）
那今天我想讲的已经讲完了
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
反正毒品有害，知道了吗？
Come on children, clap along （SHUT UP!）
好了孩子们，鼓掌
Sing along children （Suck my motherfuckin dick!）
一起唱（呵呵）
Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad （South Park is gonna sue me!）
反正毒品有害（南方公园要起诉我了）
So don't do drugs （Suck my motherfuckin penis!）
远离毒品（呵呵呵）
so there'll be more for me （Hippie! God damnit!）
再见（靠）
（So, fucked up, right now..）
（。。。）