Blame On Me

We grew up in the same household
For years we were close
Throwing football in the yard til the lights turned on inside the lampposts
Years go by
Something changed when you got to junior high
And started hanging with them guys
Suddenly I meant nothing to you
You wanted nothin to do
With me
You run with a crew
That doesn’t include
Any room for your little brother
I was destroyed but i still loved ya
I still wanted your approval if I could get it I’d cherish it
Embarrassing me any chance u got but i didn’t care
Because maybe if I was tough enough to take it you would love me
Instead of looking at me like I’m disgusting
Like I’m nothing
Like I’m not the person that you grew up with
I wanna reminisce and ask you if you miss those days
But I’m terrified of broaching the subject
I’m terrified to hear your answer so I just don’t touch it
We grew up in the same household
For years we were close
1 on 1 I would dominate you in the post
Years pass
But The bond didn’t last
And now I hate the man above the sink looking at me in the glass
treated you like I hated you never needed you
Even if I had the same opinion disagreed with you
Insult after insult hoping they’d eat at you
Poking at ya Deepest wounds
My baby brother I don’t have an excuse
But i know you remember the way that Dad would let loose
On me more often and way less you
He criticized and tested me so I’d test you
I got so much wrongdoing to confess to
And you act like it never happened god bless you
Im terrified of broaching the subject
Im terrified to even ask so I just don’t touch it
I don’t say nothing
You grew up in my household
Under my roof
Raised you with discipline and taught you life’s truths
Lashed out at you for things you’d misplace
Reprimanding you in public til youre red in the face
Made you feel the weight of every single mistake that you made
My hot temper turned up full throttle
Cuz I needed you to be your lil brothers role model
everything that you do he just gon follow
Don’t you understand?
It’s okay I understand
Cuz the way I parent you is how my Mother did
And the way you treat your little brothers how my older brother did
And now I’m not even my brothers friend
There’s so much I would do and say if I could have it done again
But I’m terrified of broaching the subject
I’m terrified to break down so I just don’t touch it
I don’t say nothing