Cry You a River

The moment you squeezed the trigger, I felt dissed
How the hell could you be so selfish, the current events that led up to this moment
You masqueraded your death wish, you ain't think I had the mental capacity
To comprehended your troubles and theft ness
So subtle I'm breathless, Imma be just like you was my old model
That was before you murked my best friend, big cousin and role model
Left my soul hollow, now I hold bottles of E and J
And drown myself in this alcoholic slow sorrow
And I find myself not taking sips, but whole swallows
And my outlook on life's meaning is so shallow
You led by example
Your life was the blueprint I was supposed to go follow
Back to fishing due to the fact you missing
At a crossroads 'cause at the wake of your untimely demise
You sent me on a backwards mission
****, I only pray that ***** has mercy on your soul upon his acquisition
I can't help but find it suitable cursing
You ****ed up a beautiful person
And still on judgment day I pray your sole gets acquitted
Without question I'll always love you, I just hate the horrible act you committed
[Chorus x2]
I'll cry you a river
If not, then this song I'll try and deliver
I'm still in denial, you can't die you my *****
I'm all out of liquor so I'm pouring out my heart to you...my *****
[Verse 2]
I'd be lying through my grill if I said it's been all lovely
It ain't all good it's been a slow recovery
Except when I'm drunk and bubbly
Although on certain days I swear I feel your brotherly spirit hover above me
****, I almost died seven years ago
Think God point you when he said prevention for my divine intervention
If not, then God I wish you do such
Lately I've been faced with adversity and dealing with issues too much
No shoulders to lean on, if they ain't cold then they hunched up
A few family members is genuine and a bunch suck
I know it's foul, even at reunions some don't show a smile
Even though most of us are almost 30-years old with child
The degrees of separation lures my heart
Where's the offspring supposed to start?
Cause sometimes even the thickest of blood grows apart
Am I too old or smart? Even she knows when the goodbyes and hellos is tart
Time don't heal every wound sometimes it adds to the sufferage
I'm knowing as if life wasn't enough a *****
Your presence is missing; still I know your spiritual essence will listen
Give your brother my blessings in prison
[Chorus x2]
[Verse 3]
They say suicides an unforgivable act
Can't sneak into God's graces there's no visible cracks
So when it's time for him to revisit the facts, I'm praying
That you an exception to the rule and he'll review every individuals tracks
Lord I hope you see the goodness that was
But keep a spot in your heart for him and the heavenly hood that's above
I understood it's a shove to ask you to keep his soul in your graces
But if anything could it's the love
If I could turn back the hands of time I'd rather squeeze the tool myself
Can't let that kind of fate repeat G
I hate me deeply, the possibility if I was to die this moment
You wouldn't be at the golden gates to greet me
The absence would mess up the vanity the rest of infinity
If I had a personal hell, you could guess what's the penalty
****, just the main thought of it all makes me teary eyed
No matter how much I tell myself to look on the cheery side
No matter how much I talk with God in deep discussion
Cause you and I both knew the repercussions
When you put your soul in the reapers clutches
So why then, I'm still trying to figure as I'm crying this river
[Chorus x2]