The Ladies Who Lunch

[JOANNE]
Here's to the ladies who lunch-
Everybody laugh
Lounging in their kaftans
And planning a brunch
On their own behalf
Off to the gym
Then to a fitting
Claiming they're fat
And looking grim
'Cause they've been sitting
Choosing a hat
Does anyone still wear a hat?
I'll drink to that

And here's to the girls who slay smart-
Aren't they a gas?
Rushing to their classes
In optical art
Wishing it would pass
Another long exhausting day
Another thousand dollars
A matinée, a Pinter play
Perhaps a piece of Mahler's
I'll drink to that
And one for Mahler!

And here's to the girls in their prime-
Aren't they too much?
Keeping house but clutching
A copy of TIME
Just to keep in touch
The ones who follow the rules
And meet themselves at the schools
Too busy to know that they're fools
Aren't they a gem?
I'll drink to them!
Let's all drink to them!

And here's to the girls who just watch-
Aren't they the best?
When they get depressed
It's a bottle of Scotch
Plus a little jest
Another chance to disapprove
Another brilliant zinger
Another reason not to move
Another vodka stinger
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
I'll drink to that

So here's to the girls on the go-
Everybody tries
Look into their eyes
And you'll see what they know:
Everybody dies
A toast to that invincible bunch
The dinosaurs surviving the crunch
Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch-
Everybody rise!
Rise! Rise!
Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise!
Rise!