This Time (feat. Keith Fontano)

I let somebody in, and then it killed me
我让一个人进去，然后她带着我
Sometimes I hate that I always feel things
我总能感觉得到有时候
'Cause everything I care for is always leaving
因为我所关心的一切总是离开
Me and my heart need to have a meeting, look
我和我的心需要开个会，听着
Fighting all the demons that are living in my mind
与我心中所有的的恶魔战斗
Can't be looking back, when you leave it all behind
当你把它这一切都抛在脑后,不要回头看
"Coulda, woulda, shoulda," yeah, I hear it all the time
“可以，可以，应该，”是的。我一直在听
I got so much to say, but all I say is, "nevermind"
我有好多话要说，但我只是想说，“没关系”
So let me let you in for a couple of minutes
所以我让你进去几分钟
Praying to God like, "Could you give me a minute?"
向上帝祈祷，“你能给我一点时间吗?”
Forgive me for the ways that I've been living
原谅我的生活方式
I said that I'd be different
我说过我会与众不同
I know you don't see a difference, but
我知道你看不出有什么不同，但是
You gave me this life, I'm just playing the cards
你给了我这样的生活，我却只是在玩牌
Every time I pray, I don't know where to start
每次我祈祷，我都不知道从哪里开始
Grocery shopping, never filling the cart
杂货店购物，永远不要填满购物车
There's food for thought, I need food for the heart, yeah
我需要思想的食物，我需要心灵的食物，是的

穿上我的连帽衫，戴上耳机
Got my hoodie up, earphones all in
我不去上班，几乎不打电话
I didn't go to work, I hardly call in
告诉我的母亲，“听着，我要全力以赴”
Told my mom, "Look, I gotta be all in"
朋友们给我打电话说，“我们什么时候去”
Friends hit me up like, "When we ballin'?"
我曾经爱过的女孩，我们几乎不说话
The girl I used to love, we're hardly talkin'
因为我被锁住了，我在追逐一个梦，梦游者
'Cause I'm locked and I'm chasing a dream, sleepwalkin'
我迷失在这样一个事实中 钱只是我的附属品
I'm lost in the fact that money's just costin' me
这是我所需要的生活，所有我流血的墨水
This the life that I need, all this ink that I bleed
就是给你画一幅他们不想让你看到的画吗
Is to paint you a picture they don't want you to see
他们不希望你这样，去寻找更快乐的事情吧
That they don't want you to be, to find the happier things
钱，衣服，女人，都是物质的东西
Money, clothes, women all material things
我们将会离开，但总有一天你会看到
Will walk out and leave, but one day you'll see
试着在这条单行道上找到属于我的路
Tryna find my way on this one-way street
看着这条路，就像你和我
Staring at this road like it's you and me
这次我不会跑了

从我的内心深处
I'm not gonna run this time
是时候把这一切抛在脑后了
From what I've buried deep inside
所以我不会，我不会，我不会
It's time I left it all behind
这次跑吧
So I won't, I won't, I won't
“更爱你”到“你好吗？”
Run this time
每次都是同样的感觉

说我们会继续做朋友，但我们不是朋友
"I love you more" to "how you been?"
是啊，来吧，伙计，感觉好傻
Same feelings every time again
你觉得你了解我，但你并没有真正了解我
Said we'd stay friends, but we ain't friends
你不想说话，你以为你知道我的感受
Yeah, come on now, really man, it feels so silly
哦 你留着一百块？好吧，我留着它
You feel that you get me, but you don't really get me
你输了，我在应付
You don't wanna talk, you think you know what I'm feeling
我试着把这些感觉挂起来，但我被绑住了
Oh you keep it a hundred? Okay, I'll keep it a milli
当我说我没心没肺的时候，我不是在开玩笑
You lost out, and I'm coping
为什么我要把坏掉的东西带着身上？
Tryna hang these feelings, but I'm roped in
失去耐心，我就完了
When I say I'm heartless, I ain't jokin'
提起我做过的事，就好像我为此感到自豪一样
Why do I keep something with me that's broken?
你能看出我很固执吗？
Losing my patience, I'm out of it
圣诞节就要到了，我想要一切
Bringing up things that I've done like I'm proud of it
如果你现在还不明白，你就得自己去拿
Making myself, can you tell that I'm adamant?
没人想到我会在这里，没人想到我会卖掉它
Christmas is coming and I'm wanting all of it
我看着自己，只有一件事能告诉自己
If you don't get it now, you gotta get it yourself
如果我能成为任何人，那一定不是别人
Nobody thought I would be here, nobody thought I would sell
24/7我在寻找天堂，我在想，我做的还不够多吗？
I look at myself, only one thing I can tell
你给了我们自由 让我们做我们想做的事
If I could be anybody, it'd be nobody else
这罪孽就放在我们的杯子里
24/7 I'm lookin' for heaven, I wonder, am I doin' enough?
所以告诉我该怎么做
You give us this freedom to we do what we want—
让我看看我该看到什么
And this sin is just put in our cups
因为好像每个人都知道我是谁
So tell me what I'm supposed to do
以及我应该是什么样的人
Show me what I'm supposed to see
发现自己在一个迷失的世界
'Cause seems like everybody knows who I am
我的背一直压在墙上
And the kind of person I'm supposed to be
握着麦克风，就像它是剩下的
Finding myself in a world that is lost
没有音乐我什么都不是，因为
My back has been living on walls
这次我不跑了
Gripping this mic like it's all that is left
从我的内心深处
Without music I'm nothing at all, 'cause
是时候把这一切都抛在脑后了

所以我不会，我不会，我不会
I'm not gonna run this time
这次跑吧
From what I've buried deep inside
我是服务员
It's time I left it all behind
等待转机
So I won't, I won't, I won't
活到老学到老
Run this time
在这一生中，最重要的不是钱

但是你赚了多少钱呢
I'm a waiter waiting on tables
你是付出了爱还是接受了爱
Waiting for tables to turn
当她说“我爱你”时，你打破了吗？
You live and you learn
当她开始哭的时候，你面对她了吗？
In this life it ain't about the money that you made
你伤了她的心，你换了吗？
But what did you earn
回首过去，我后悔了很多
Did you give love or did you take it
所有的一切都在我的脑海里，我一直试着摆脱它
When she said "I love you," did you break it?
迷失自我只是为了找到我是谁
When she started to cry, did you face it?
只为为了找到自己的立场
When you broke her heart, did you replace it?
越来越不耐烦了，比如我什么时候能赶到
Looking back at my past, I'm regretting a lot of it
他们告诉我别等了，就像出去拿一样
All in my head, I've been tryna get out of it
追逐梦想，但是，就像，我在追求什么？
Losing myself just to find who I am
一个人在我的房间里，我一直在不停的踱来踱去
Taking a leap just to find where I stand
我审视自己和我说过的话
Getting impatient, like when will I make it?
我失去的一切，所有我留下的人
They tell me stop waiting, like go out and take it
投资爱情，你能看出我的情债吗？
Chasing a dream, but, like, what am I chasing?
我们坠入爱河，就像，你忘了吗？
Alone in my room, I've been constantly pacing
算了吧，我来收拾残局，让它好好休息
I look at myself and the things that I've said
把你留在我心、胸口的洞补上
Things I've let go, all the people I've kept
爱上一个陌生人，伙计，谁能猜到呢？
Investing in love, can you tell I'm in debt?
所以我拿起这只笔 就像剩下的这支笔一样
We fell so in love, like, did you forget?
我这次我不跑了
Forget it, I'll pick up the mess and I'll leave it to rest
从我的内心深处
Close up the hole that you left in my chest
是时候把这一切抛在脑后了
In love with a stranger, man, who would've guessed?
所以我不会，我不会，我不会
So I pick up this pen like it's all I got left
这次跑吧

I'm not gonna run this time
From what I've buried deep inside
It's time I left it all behind
So I won't, I won't, I won't
Run this time