I DON'T CARE

I swear, they only love me when i’m not there
我发誓 他们只在我未到达彼岸的时候爱我
I know you trust me but I don’t care
我知道你相信我 但我不在乎
I swear, that I don’t care
我发誓 我不在乎
I know you love me but I don’t care
我知道你爱我 但我不在乎
You know I was born up at the top floor
你知道吗 我出生就在楼顶
But I came out at a basement
但现在却待在地下室
Mom wanted me to be a doctor
母亲曾希望我做个医生
But I came out as a patient
我却成为了一个病人
Now I get a thousand DMs everyday, I had a fan telling me that I saved him
我现在每天都收到好多条私信 一个粉丝说我是他的救赎
Saying that he loving everything I make and I couldn’t take a single second out my day to make his
他说他爱我做的音乐 我花一秒钟回复他就能让他开心一整天
I’m just getting number every time I see my numbers
每次查看我的未读信息 数字都在增加
Every time I see the bottom
每次当我看向谷底
Every time we see each other
每次当我们看向彼此
Every time I pop a bottle
每次当我开瓶畅饮
Every time I hit the lotto
每次当我中了乐透
Every time I see tomorrow
每次当我遥望明天
I just really want another
我都希望能有下一次
I’m just stuck between the gutter
但我只是被困在阴沟里
In the rain, it ain't pain, that i’m feeling, but it’s something in the same kinda vein, that i’m healing from, I wonder why I feel so little, cuz I ain’t been on the top I think i’m somewhere in the middle
在雨中 我不觉得难过 那是一种类似的感觉 但我正被治愈着 不知道为什么我这么麻木 或许是因为我还没到达希望的顶峰 我还在半山腰的某处
I swear, they only love me when i’m not there
我发誓 他们只在我未到达彼岸时爱我
I know you trust me but I don’t care
我知道你相信我 但我不在乎
I swear, that I don’t care
我发誓 我不在乎
I know you love me but I don’t care
我知道你爱我 但我不在乎
So what, so uh, So a, hole in my soul, that shit looking like a donut (Yuh)
不在乎 我空洞的灵魂看起来像个甜甜圈
You and me can laugh together
我们可以一起欢笑
But I don’t think that thats gonna put it back together
但我不认为我们能回到曾经
I’ve been living like I’m stuck under the covers
我好像被困住了 永远无法出头
I know this’ll make em proud, but I know they gone need another and another and another and another and another like i’m DJ Khalid with a mother ****ing stutter (‘Kay, yuh)
他们会为我骄傲 但我知道他们会想要更多 更多 更多 就像DJ Khalid的口癖
Today I woke up, grabbed my phone to check the gram I started scrolling
今早我起床刷着手机
Got a message from a dude without a profile picture, shit was long as ****, I thought that he was trolling
收到了一个来自没有头像的用户的长文 我以为他在开玩笑或是什么
So I tried to swipe it out but accidentally must of opened, I said **** it, guess I’ll read it, now that’s it already loaded, had a sudden premonition, but it faded in the moment so I focused, started reading, lemme try my best to quote as he wrote it, it said
我不小心点开了 去他的 我想我会读它 加载的时候我有个莫名的预感转瞬即逝 我开始专心地读着 他说
“My homie was a huge ****ing fan, used to play your shit everyday. He struggled with depression and he told me that the music was the thing that always set him straight. But I guess it must of gotten to much, for him, killed himself a couple months back, it’s felt so ****ing long. But it reminded me of him when you popped up on my page and I went and started listening to a couple songs so..
"我的朋友曾经是你的忠粉 每天听你的歌他与抑郁症作斗争 他告诉我 音乐可以让他感觉更好 但我想一切对他来说都太沉重了 他在几个月前自杀了 这几月过得太漫长了 但当你出现在我的页面上时 我又想起了他 我开始听了几首你的歌 所以...
Keep doing you bro.”
继续做你自己吧"
He followed up with a post from his friend, it was a screenshot of my track, I, clicked the profile full of R.I.Ps and the comments, shit I couldn’t even stomach looking at but all the sudden, in the instant everything felt grimmer. Read the name again and realized it sounded familiar
他附上了他朋友的帖子 是听我歌时的截图 我点了进去 那是个充满“RIP"评论的账户 我真不忍心看 但突然间 事情突然变得严肃 我仔细读了一遍他的名字 感觉很熟悉
Clicked the DM, to see if he had talked to me before
点击了他的私信 想看看我们是否有过聊天
Saw this was the same kid I consciously ignored a couple months ago..
但我发觉这是我几个月前有意识地忽略的一个孩子
I swear, they only love me when i’m not there
我发誓 他们只在我未到达彼岸时爱我
I know you trust me but I don’t care
我知道你们相信我但我不在乎
I swear, that I don’t care
我发誓 我不在乎
I know you love me but I don’t care
我知道你爱我但我不在乎