Slow Burn

It begins with a dark, glowing ember
Something black, burning its way out of me
Searing the flesh, pain is the only thing I feel
Scar's all I see
Oh no, the fire's burning my insides again
What can I do to silence my desire tonight?
Face consumer reason leaving all the ashes there
You won't catch me for granting my decision
I can't keep telling myself
What I wanna hear
I can't just close my eyes
I know that it's killing me
And it's poisoning the best of me
But I say I don't want to believe
So let me tell you, boy, tell you, boy
About the lies I lead
That is how it kills, I got some flames and gasoline
Broken teeth replace the blackout memories in my head
Wreckage from the blast, it often shakes me to the floor
I know it's over but I can't go home tonight
And after this I feel as empty as the night before
Feel the pain and yet I'm still begging for more
Masochistic, nihilistic, gorging, wrecked up thoughts
My life's a mess and I can't find a way to fix it
I can't keep telling myself
What I wanna hear
I can't just close my eyes
I know that it's killing me
And it's poisoning the best of me
But I say I don't want to believe
So let me tell you, boy, tell you, boy
About the lies I lead
Calling, calling out
The darkest reaches of my soul
I'm riddled with self-doubt
Crawling, crawling out
My will to fight will more than suffice
While others will lay down
It's only as dark as you make it
I know that it's killing me
And it's poisoning the best of me
But I say, I don't want to believe
So let me tell you, boy, tell you, boy
About the lies I lead