The Day I Ruined My Life

There are so many ways to say it
有无数种方式表达它
I'll give honesty a chance.
我选择坦诚
I do remember this day.
我清楚地记得这一天
This particular day when I made this choice.
作出选择的那天非同寻常
It's so clear in my head
每个细节都历历在目
that it erases almost all my memories left.
以至于全部过往都如云烟般消逝
This choice, no doubt I'll make it once more.
选择毫无疑问会再次重复
Sometimes, you may follow your guts,
木樨花落,信马由缰
the beat of your heart craving for blood.
你渴望鲜血的心跳指引着你
But you know it, don’t you?
可这不是心血来潮，对吧？
I cared for myself.
我为自己而活
Not because I had to
不是生活所迫
but because it's what defines me as a human being.
而这是我做人的准则
I've made up so many stories about this moment
这一言难尽
that I could write books with it.
我都能用它写书了
Million pages of lies.
昧地瞒天
But I do remember this day.
我对这一天了然于心

我不想这样生
I've never wanted to live like this
这样死，这样徒劳的思考
Die like this, think live this
我也没打算告诉你
Neither did I want to tell you
这纯粹是胡说八道
these kind of pure non-sense.
我一直希望有一种更好的方式
I've always hoped of a better way
体验幸福
to experience happiness
答案近在咫尺
This is the end, I can feel it so close
我做的一切让我如释重负
It's like a relief after what I've done
对你们，对我们，对所有在迷茫中挣扎的人们
To you, to us, to everybody like this.
若我奋起打破这桎梏

我能找到来时的路吗？
What if I rose and broke the cycle
若我不再怯于面对自己的真实射影
Would I find my way home again?
我可以想象自己仍是穿着闪亮盔甲的勇士吗？
What if I stopped avoiding my reflection
若我奋起反抗那些奸诈皎洁之人
Would I picture myself in a shiny armor?
我能依然安眠在庇护所中吗？
What if I stood up against the vulture
若我登上最近的山丘
Would I sleep in the undergrowth?
我能够为同类建起一处安全的容身之所吗？
What if I climbed to the nearest hill
若我奋起打破这桎梏
Would I build an safe nest for my kind?
我能找到来时的路吗？
What if I rose and broke the cycle
若我不再怯于面对自己的真实射影
Would I find my way home again?
我可以想象自己仍是穿着闪亮盔甲的勇士吗？
What if I stopped avoiding my reflection
若我奋起反抗那些奸诈皎洁之人
Would I picture myself in a shiny armor?
我能依然安眠在庇护所中吗？
What if I stood up against the vulture
我能够为同类建起一处安全的容身之所吗？
Would I sleep in the undergrowth?
我能够为同类建起一处安全的容身之所吗？
What if I climbed to the nearest hill
若我奋起打破这桎梏
Would I build an safe nest for my kind?
我能找到来时的路吗？
What if I rose and broke the cycle
若我不再怯于面对自己的真实射影
Would I find my way home again?
我可以想象自己仍是穿着闪亮盔甲的勇士吗？
What if I stopped avoiding my reflection
不再匿影藏形
Would I picture myself in a shiny armor?
不再夜行昼伏

充满谎言的时代结束了
Years of hiding are over.
摇尾乞怜的日子结束了
Days of running are over.
现在 我缴械投降
Years of lying are over.
放弃
Days of begging are over.
现在 我屈服了
Today I surrender.
现在 我认了
Surrender.
现在 我放弃了
Today I surrender.
至今 我终于屈服了
Today I surrender.
放弃
Today I surrender.
放弃了
Today I surrender.
Surrender.
Surrender.