goodbye

Clock is ticking, I just want it stop
钟表转动 我希望它能停下
Time is flowing like a river, water all on my watch
逝者如斯夫 不舍昼夜
Nah I'm kidding, I'm a broke kid, never was a **** kid
开个玩笑 我只是个内心支离破碎的人 没什么好炫耀的
Eating lunch, fourth grade, had to go and choke kid
安排好一切 准备赴死
Thought it was over, body numb, no sensations
我以为这就是全部了 四肢麻木 失去知觉
Thinking to myself like "Oh boy", the ends waiting
我告诉自己 天哪 死亡在等我呢
I gotta go, I'm sorry mama I didn't make it
抱歉啊妈妈 我得走了 我还是辜负了你
You wanna see me now, but someone told me to keep you waiting
你想立刻见到我 但是我只能让你等着了
Life is cruel in a beautiful way
生活残酷而美好
Wish I had some more friends, that would want me to stay
希望我拥有珍贵的友情 这样会不会有人愿意挽留我
Never thought that even heaven's skies could get so grey
从没想过 向往着的天堂也不能救我了
And could you tell me when perfection never got so vague
你能否告诉我“美好”的界限为何如此暧昧不清
Feel like it's not real, feel like I'm waking up
感觉虚空 处于半梦半醒之间
19 years, when I go like did I take enough
活了十九年 我认为已经足够
Girl and I are breaking up, was really shaken up
我和她结束了 这真的令我震惊
Told me that she cheated 3 times, I can't make this up
她骗了我三次 并非编造
Life is crazy and it's unexpected
生活总是疯狂 出乎你的意料
And I'm just sick of learning every lesson
厌倦了现实给我的教导
I'm scared of love that's only one confession
我害怕陷入爱情了 这是我的忏悔
I miss the world before I lost my presence
失去存在感之前 我仍旧对这个世界存留爱意
I really question almost everything
我几乎质疑所有事情
Cause I just wanna know what's going on
因为我想看见事态会如何发展
Like is there something out there waiting for me
好像有一条出路在等待我发现
Whatever, I'll just put myself inside a countless song
无论如何 我能做的只有把真实的自己藏在无数首歌里
Can you relate to this? Am I insane to you?
你能理解吗？是我疯了吗？
Did I just help you with a problem? Did I save you too?
我解决了你的疑惑吗？我拯救你了吗？
Okay probably not, I shouldn't just assume
或许没有吧 我不该妄自假设
But I been looking for support, so what am I to do
但是我一直在寻找和我想法一致的人 我要怎么做
I'm having flashbacks, of old-school hatchbacks
故事倒叙 像老派的掀背式汽车
Whipping on the backroads, the matchbox had no gas
在公路上颠簸 不需要汽油
These random memories, invading me
这些随机出现的记忆侵占我的意识
They leave my mind empty, I been suffering from vacancy
它们使我头脑空荡 忍受虚无
In a house, but it's never been home
在这座房子里 但我无家可归
Like you alone cause you chose, and I'm alone like a ghost
就像你独自一人只是因为你选择如此 我却没有选择的权利 不过是身无所属的幽灵
These people see me and avoid me, I'm a joke I suppose
人们对我避之不及 我想我就是个笑话
Maybe it's the way I talk, or how I'm wearing my clothes
或许是我的说话或者穿衣方式让他们觉得可笑
I think I'm different, never listen if they calling me out
我认为我与众不同 不理会他们的邀请
My mama told me not to worry, try reducing my doubts
妈妈宽慰我别这么焦虑 试着减少对人心的猜疑
It didn't work, I'm a mess, I see the tears in my eyes
但这不管用 我仍然很糟糕 我感受到了眼里的泪水
It's time to go, always knew my biggest fear was goodbyes
该走了 我总是害怕道别啊 害怕一念之间 我又舍不得这个世界了